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Topics - the mirliton

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Christmas & New Years / Better Days...I am So Ready For You!
« on: January 01, 2019, 04:53:28 AM »
I had read somewhere that a good way to END a year and then BEGIN a new one is to do things that can help your soul to smile (not sure where I read that but I thought it sounded like a decent idea)
I love music and while searching for a song to say goodbye AND also welcome the beginning of a New Year this one by the GooGoo Dolls won:
Wishing everyone here at OOTS and everywhere "Better Days"

https://youtu.be/i-kHleNYIDc

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hello all,
I have been a very fortunate recipient of full medical care thanks to the Affordable Care Act. I can say without hesitation that I would not be here today if I had not started receiving health care when it started. I got a letter today that all coverage ends June 30th. I guess I make too much for it ($guidelines have just changed) however I know I do not make enough for my therapy, or for any of the meds that have helped me to sleep well and deal with unraveling the trauma that has been stored inside me.
So all my medical care stops at the end of this month.
I barely can manage my responses to triggers, and without the meds for my ADHD which have helped to slow me down from doing too much self harm once triggered, I just have to wonder if it is all even worth trying anymore.
The physical quality of my life improved almost 100% with medical care, and I know without the safety net of my therapist/psy nurse/physical therapist and primary doctor I do to know how my body will deal with the withdrawals (from meds and also my caring professionals). I do know I will NOT accept this body/mind if it starts heading back to the dark hole it was in before I was able to have medical care.
I do not know why I am even posting, as I feel quite hopeless. I see darkness ahead and I am too weary to feel like figuring out how to navigate managing my health when I know that there is no way I can afford any type of care.
I am grateful for the years I did receive care. I hope I do not sound ungrateful.  I also am thankful for OOTS. Your welcoming light of understanding  has many times already helped me to not feel totally alone.

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Music / "This Is Me"
« on: February 07, 2018, 09:13:47 PM »
Hello All,
Music is my "go to" when my soul needs soothing and I am sinking in the "feeling bad because I AM feeling bad syndrome".
This song performed by Keala Settle is from the movie "the Greatest Showman" and it's powerful lyrics performed with Keala's emotional Ka-Wow has worked to help push my reset button when life, the triggers, the shame has worn me down and I need some inspiration to continue the journey:
THIS IS ME: https://youtu.be/CjxugyZCfuw   

"it's not easy being me"   :blink:  (a phrase that I have adopted from a Third Eye Blind song)

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Hello Joyful,
I've been visiting this site for a small amount of time (& not jumping in ) however your post inspired me to finally reach out to OOTS. It's a Sunday and I have a lovely productive busy day planned and yet I sit here with an ache & sadness so strong that my tears are keeping me from even seeing what I have written in this post, or accomplishing even the smallest action on my to-do list. I am an acronym "hot mess" and even though I spent over a year attending a DBT Institute w/bi-weekly appointments, and presently have a psych nurse, a therapist and practice mindfulness and loving kindness...all that I have learned and continue to learn goes out the door with one nasty flashback, which then invites  "other flashes" to join in.  BPD~CPTSD~ADHD has made this journey a bit tougher than maybe it should be?
I actually feel better after writing a note of solidarity to you Joyful and whomever else reads this post. Sometimes my feelings of isolation, shame and that I am a mistake (self-imposed) limits me to ask even those who love me to go grab a coffee or to at least help me try to understand "WHY??"
Which probably is not really an answerable question.
Thank OOTS for being here.


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