So, honestly. I just started seeing a psychiatrist. More of I did something stupid and now I am crying writing this. I don't know how this got so far. I didn't even know I was this broken til I literally broke completely. Yet, I am accepting responsibility and accountability for my actions for myself.
Now, I am looking forward but don't know where my first steps are at!?! I guess peace and forgiving is huge. To myself and those who really hurt me. But how when there are so many triggers I am finally aware of?Everything is. My psychiatrist looks like she wants to study me and I haven't begun to really even tell her things. Can I? Everyday I cry. They put me on meds and staying home so I don't have so many triggers but hone itself is a trigger. There is no safe place in my skin. In my body, my home so basically no where feels safe for me right now. Im just trying to stay on these dam meds and stay busy. Knowing there is a tomorrow. When do these tomorrows get better is the question. Sorry. I know I am all over the place I just broke completely and dont know where to begin or how to stop all these thoughts now....
Now, I am looking forward but don't know where my first steps are at!?! I guess peace and forgiving is huge. To myself and those who really hurt me. But how when there are so many triggers I am finally aware of?Everything is. My psychiatrist looks like she wants to study me and I haven't begun to really even tell her things. Can I? Everyday I cry. They put me on meds and staying home so I don't have so many triggers but hone itself is a trigger. There is no safe place in my skin. In my body, my home so basically no where feels safe for me right now. Im just trying to stay on these dam meds and stay busy. Knowing there is a tomorrow. When do these tomorrows get better is the question. Sorry. I know I am all over the place I just broke completely and dont know where to begin or how to stop all these thoughts now....