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Topics - Marie

#1
Books & Articles / A book on childhood Trauma
May 18, 2017, 02:58:56 PM
This book may have some serious trigger warnings for a lot of people but I would really like to suggest it. It is an excellent story the 3rd worst case of child abuse the state of California had ever seen. Its is a tear jerker from start to finish but is a huge help in my opinion.

My Story by David Phelzer
#2
Here are some of the books I've been reading I believe they can help anyone.


1.Dave Pelzer / My story This is a really sad account of major abuse which may cause triggers.....He gives a full detailed account & there is a sliver lining :)
2.Louise Hay / You can heal your life
3.Heidi Sawyer / Highly Intuitive People
4.Mindfullness finding peace in a frantic world
5.M. Scott Peck / The Road less travelled
6.Victor E, Frankl / Mans search for meaning

What i found to be very helpful was focusing on the more intense subjects like abnormal psychology which it has to be for some of us  :fallingbricks: then when we find the deeper meaning move on to the positive stuff like number2. Although, she suffered a terrible trauma also which is described in the book she focuses on getting past it instead of becoming part of it. That's what i did for years became part of it until i became aware of myself which lead to a serious wake up call.

All I can say is believe in yourself. I hope there is something here to help people  :hug:
#3
Hello everyone,

First post.

My Mother is a Narc she was terrible growing up she was never around haven't a clue where she would be. I grew up in her original house it was very dysfunctional we lived with her whole family. I can kind of see how she became this way but it doesn't make it OK.

She was never around growing up, if she was she would be screaming, shouting slapping. Always, leaving us with others. i watched my uncles kick the * out of each other growing up. One of them was always in trouble with the law and trying to commit suicide must be where i learned it from. :falling bricks: He was horrible to my father always calling him names to us and beating him when they would be around each other in front of us all i can assume is this was because of what she was telling them about him they believed her even tho she was running around with other men, one in particular i remember, she used to take me with her and tell me all her * secrets.  :stars:

We eventually moved to a new house. Same here she was never around and worked her way around my fathers schedule so she would not get caught. Me and my other sister raised the other ones i became very rebellious drinking, doing drugs and sleeping with anyone for affection but it didn't give me any this behaviour carried its way all through my 20's.

I left school very young when this happened this was her perfect opportunity to get her claws in. I completely isolated myself about 3 years later never left the house unless it was to go somewhere with her we argued from morning to night. She knew where all my triggers were, she was awful because of this.  :falling bricks: I would go shopping with her at the checkout she would make a remark in front of everyone about how i don't pay for anything  :blahblahblah: it was so embarrassing that i eventually stopped going inside the shop. I still react to this one (NOW) She turned the whole family against me in different ways even tho we lived together!!!

I was suffering with severe depression but i never knew what was wrong with me and anytime I would do research or anything to get stuff to read I would have to hide it because she would either make fun of me, tell me not to be so stupid or take it and say she didn't.  She would tell the whole family not just immediate what I was reading or whatever and they would make fun of me too. Sounds so petty but my got it was traumatizing she used to take my mail, tell people i wasn't there, eventually it all became normal i never questioned it. She told all her brothers and sisters i was a very bad child that there was something wrong with me.

I used to try and please her but now when i think about it I'm baffled how she did it.

I eventually said to myself i need to get out of here away from her and i did  then i ended up here again after 2 years. Decided i needed to leave again and guess what here i am again i don't know why i keep coming back i already know its a nightmare and she will never change. Its like when the going gets tough i come but this is worse and i know it.

I have a very hard time struggling with day to day. People think its excuses but its not i haven't worked in so long in my own country i think it is in relation to her. I'm not great around people I'm very self conscious and feel like people just don't like me.   :spooked:

There is much more to this story but I'm sure its a good enough outline to give an idea.

I have done number amounts of personal development i read about it and how to get over it all the time i am taking psychology courses but i just don't feel anything I'm getting much better, but i still don't like to go out to much, hate crowded places and i have no friends because i feel like i just can't connect with anyone. How do i get over this its not a case i have not tried i have.