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i thought i was doing really well.  i went swimming, did some work on my apartment, and planned to join a gym. i decided i was getting my old life back.

After a couple of days of feeling depressed and doing nothing, i realized i had done it again. Tried to convince myself i was cured. The truth is, i'm not getting my old life back. i can make progress and improve, but i still need to take things a little bit at a time. if i try to do too much, i get in trouble.

  My PTSD was diagnosed about three years ago. it was because of many things, beginning with an abusive childhood.

One of the symptoms i hated most was losing interest in things i used to love. Swimming had always been a passion of mine -- couldn't wait for summer so i could swim, and went swimming every day.

For a long time -- years -- i didn't swim. Didn't see the point of doing that, and just didn't want to. This bothered me.

Yesterday, i went swimming for the first time in three years. The water felt wonderful, and i loved being in the pool. For me, this is real progress. i'm slowly getting my life back.

I got a notice for Jury Duty last year. I lost it and emailed Jury Services to find out my account number.  At the same time, I requested to be disqualified because of my PTSD. I just can't imagine being able to do that and gave them several reasons.
Earlier this week, I got a notice telling me I did not show up and gave me a phone number to call. I couldn't get passed the IVR -- it didn't give me enough time to key in the information they were asking for.

Using my account number, I wrote to them again, sending them a copy of my original email and some of my symptoms. Today I got an email back, telling me they were rejecting my request, and to schedule a new date when I would be available.

Help! I just can't do it. It's kind of far, and I don't drive freeways. Just thinking about it triggers all kinds of emotions.

What can I do! Do you think having my therapist send them a letter would help?

Thanks!

I fell about a week ago, and bruised my ribs and my face was black and blue. The doctor said it would take a while to heal. I took lots of Advil for the pain. Bad idea. My GERD flared up, and my asthma was getting bad. So I did some research and found that these are common side effcts. The next day I bought Tylenol. Stomach has calmed down, but asthma symptoms continue. Just congested when I try to do much of anything -- no wheezing. I guess I'll have to wait it out.

In the meantime, all kinds of things are triggering me. The book club book bothered me a lot, so I decided, after some nasty dreams, to return the book and not go to the discussion.

Last night I had a very weird dream about my ex. When I woke up, i I worked myself up about the rotten things he had done.  I did get out. It was five in the morning, but I knew that staying in bed and getting more stressed wasn't a good idea. So I got up and did some other things around the house. Woke up again at 9. I haven't had triggers like that for a long time. And my house is a disaster, since I can't clean and that bothers me.

This too will pass. Thanks for listening.

I had a nasty fall a few days ago, and I've been down on myself for not being able to do more. My apartment is a disaster. Yesterday I had to buy parrot food, but I needed to take some asthma medication first. While I was waiting for it to start working, I finally opened the benefits package from my insurance company. They have raised the prescription deductible to $360. I freaked. I'd saved $300 for it, but I had to use that to get my car fixed. I kept thinking -- how am I going to get the money for this?

I got to the bird store okay, and felt kind of out of it when I was waiting in line. Then I went to Denny's for lunch and read. But  once I stopped reading, my breathing got bad, my hands were shaking and I was terrified. All I knew was that I needed to go home. Driving home was a challenge, but after I sat down for a while it all went away.

Any panic attack suggestions? I haven't had one in over a year.

I was diagnosed with PTSD a couple of years ago. Before that, I had a few major depressive episodes.

I had several friends who couldn't deal with it. One very close friend, who I used to talk with every day, completely withdrew. When I went back to work, I went to lunch with her, and she kept having to reassure herself that I was better.  And one man completely stopped speaking to me because I told him that what he wanted me to do was triggering other things, and so I couldn't have lunch with him 50 miles away.

I am trying to end stigma, so when someone asks me a question, I try to give an honest answer. This has backfired several times, but I keep telling myself that CPTSD is nothing to be ashamed of, and needs to be acknowledged at least.

Any suggestions to deal with this kind of junk?

I always have a problem with holidays, because they trigger memories of abuse. I went to my daughter's anyway, and it was okay. A few people brought up things that trigger me, but instead of dwelling on them, I focused on something else very quickly. My best holiday in years!

I was going to a pulmonologist who never listened to me. My GP told me to switch, so I went to a new one.

This one seemed even less interested. He said I needed to lose weight. I told him it might be difficult because that is very stressful, and I'm having PTSD symptoms. He told me not to be so negative and left the room. I guess he doesn't know much about mental problems.

My house is getting worse. I have bad asthma, so I can only do a little at a time. But even then -- I think about what I can do, and don't do it. I'm very critical of myself, and then realize that it could be a symptom. Anyone else have this problem?

Thanks -- Sue

I've had several major depressions, and was diagnosed with PTSD, which seems to make more sense.

I've noticed that my personality has changed a lot. I did the Meyer-Briggs test, and found that some of the results were the opposite of how I used to be. I'm very introverted and a loner, and while I always needed my own space, I enjoyed friends and had frequent parties when I was younger.

Has anyone else noticed something like this happening?