I have a history of repressing memories. I was in an abusive relationship, and after the bf strangled me and threatened to put my head through his wall, I forgot about this incident for about six months and then the memory flooded back. But I had blocked it out for a half of a year. I also, have memories that have come back recently, that I had blocked out, of when my BPDm was really bad addicted to alcohol and drugs. Things happened that I had blocked out, and I only now remember because people told me about them and I know they are true. So I know I do block out things.
but there are also things that I remember from childhood that confuse me. Things that involve my parents and my private body parts. I remember these things, but when I ask my parents about them they tell me that it either never happened and I dreamed about it, or that it was for medical reasons.
Has anyone else ever doubted your own memories, because your parents told you it was just a dream? My BPDm does lie still and gaslight. So I am starting to trust myself more than her. But in the past she defined my truth. If she contradicted what I saw with my own eyes, I would believe her over my eyes.
The thing is, I really think some stuff happened to me, but that my mind is blocking it out. The reason I want to remember, is because if the person who did this to me is still in my life, I don't want to just trust them. You know?
Should I trust my memories? Or should I believe that it was all just a weird dream?
but there are also things that I remember from childhood that confuse me. Things that involve my parents and my private body parts. I remember these things, but when I ask my parents about them they tell me that it either never happened and I dreamed about it, or that it was for medical reasons.
Has anyone else ever doubted your own memories, because your parents told you it was just a dream? My BPDm does lie still and gaslight. So I am starting to trust myself more than her. But in the past she defined my truth. If she contradicted what I saw with my own eyes, I would believe her over my eyes.
The thing is, I really think some stuff happened to me, but that my mind is blocking it out. The reason I want to remember, is because if the person who did this to me is still in my life, I don't want to just trust them. You know?
Should I trust my memories? Or should I believe that it was all just a weird dream?