Hello! I am new to OOTS and hoping I can get some thoughts from people here. I was raised in a household with a diagnosed but denying/ untreated Borderline mother. Lately, I have been struggling with my mental illness diagnoses. Depression and anxiety just don't seem to cut it.
I've done a lot of research on BPD and was fearful of being diagnosed. But there were things about it I just don't fit into i.e. seeing people in b&w and self harm/ suicidal ideation having to do with "sending a message" to others around me. I also don't really have a problem with impulse control as is a staple of the disorder. Finally, I came upon this website and research done about CPTSD. It is still very hard for me to even say I was abused as a child since it was very rarely physical. Though I connect more to the symptoms of CPTSD I am still very worried that I'm convincing myself of something I'm not due to my fear of being like my mom. I have yet to get the nerve up to ask for an official diagnosis but my psychiatrist does not seem to believe I have BPD.
I don't quite know what to do or where to go from here. If there is anyone here who grew up with a borderline parent and/or was misdiagnosed with BPD could try to help me out it would be much appreciated. Thank you for your time.
I've done a lot of research on BPD and was fearful of being diagnosed. But there were things about it I just don't fit into i.e. seeing people in b&w and self harm/ suicidal ideation having to do with "sending a message" to others around me. I also don't really have a problem with impulse control as is a staple of the disorder. Finally, I came upon this website and research done about CPTSD. It is still very hard for me to even say I was abused as a child since it was very rarely physical. Though I connect more to the symptoms of CPTSD I am still very worried that I'm convincing myself of something I'm not due to my fear of being like my mom. I have yet to get the nerve up to ask for an official diagnosis but my psychiatrist does not seem to believe I have BPD.
I don't quite know what to do or where to go from here. If there is anyone here who grew up with a borderline parent and/or was misdiagnosed with BPD could try to help me out it would be much appreciated. Thank you for your time.