Menu

Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Show posts Menu

Topics - Babysister

#1
I just want yo let everyone know i found the best book i have ever read and have been given so much comfort through reading it. I happened upon it accidentally on amazon and it got 130 out of 130 5 star reviews so i decided to read it. I am so grateful.

It is called Healing from Hidden Abuse:A Journey Through The Stages Of Recovery From Psychological Abuse. I always maintained there was NEVER anything wrong with Me. And i knew I was right even if i still felt HER shame the shame projected ONTO ME by my psychopath "caretaker" My adult sister a decade older. Shame on her!
I hope this book helps everyone.

Good luck everyone with this book.
#2
Distinguishing non-harmful people from what your abuser did to you? This has been my most difficult issue and caused me to isolate because in every face i see  the potential for harm like my abuser. I cannot help it. It is not something i "see"  visually;it is a feeling of panic and general fear i have around people. People are a trigger for me. I love myself and my own company and i had a huge breakthrough realizing it is my adult sibling abuser i feel not the people around me  now i am taking steps to form friendships. Any advice, books, ideas welcome.  :hug: :heythere:
#3
Hello.
I was abused by my adult sister ten years my senior beginning when i was two from memory but probably earlier. She was so psychologically violent that to this day I have been unable to trust anyone. I suffer insomnia and deep grief and anger. My mother told me at 4 she was "done"  raising her kids so she basically abandoned me except when my adult sibling abuser and psychopath engaged her in abusing me too. The time my mother said that was the psychopath's my sisters worst abuse my mother could no longer deal with the monster that is my sister and do she certainly couldn't take care of a baby.
My father worked until 8pm and drank because of the dysfunctional abuse by my adult sibling abuser and mother screaming for her to behave.
My sister was born without empathy so she faked it for certain non-nuclear family members and in front of those outside the family to get attention. She played  the "good grandaughter and big sister" in front of her friends and my grandpatents and behind closed doors she did evil things to me. My father often called her off of me when she pretended to "tickle" me and i was screaming in pain.
She used to say the cruelest things to me and then tell me she was being nice to me-Crazy!

The emotional abuse was constant and insidious. There were constant comments to degrade me passive aggressive cruel things she said taunting me constantly and making fun of me while i was developing and she was fifteen to 27 years old!!! 
The reality is I was a pretty and very giving little girl whom my father favored and I was noticed and beloved by everyone in the neighborhood, her and my middle sister's friends, neighbors and she hated me for this.
She systematically took the time to denigrate me with viciousness in the form of character assasination when i was FIVE until 18 when i expelked her from my life. Then she did it behind my back.  every chance she could and every single day after school as I was a latchkey child. She called me an ugly kid, she said kids who are cute when they are little aren't when they grow up. I had a cute little nose and she relentlessly made fun of it to the point that i got body dysmorphia. She hit me every day after school terrorizing me and scaring me so that i was hypervigilent making sure no one else at school would hurt me and degrade me like she did.
She told me at five that I was responsible for my grandfather's heart attack how was i to believe anything else? My mother abandoned me she took advantage being a female psychopath of my defenslessness and love for her as my big sister.
She told me from the time I was three that I was "the bad seed".
This is what psychopaths do;they project themselves and their sick twisted minds and behavior onto the victims they torture.
Part of me believed her because "why would my big sister who tells me how good she is lie to me?" i was accepted to a modelling agency at five and they told her "don't call us we'll call you."
This is the first time I have reached out to a forum and told the truth about my psychopathic adult sister abuser.  She is a psychopath and she harmed me in every way.
I stopped eating at six and did not grow physically for a period of ten years when we finally moved away and i got away from her. I built self-esteem all the boys noticed me.
She violated all of my boundaries making fun of all my thoughts and interests and ideas. She said only weird boys liked me. She would say "(cousin's name) moon (cousin's name) stars"  about my overweight and culturally non-attractive cousin three years younger then she would say my name and say "eww. " she consistently criticized my appearance every character trait and behavior mocking me viciously and laughing at me. SHE WAS AN ADULT AND I WAS A YOUNG CHILD.  It was a nightmare froM which i still suffer insomnia and the inability until now hopefully  to trust anyone. She was scathingly cruel and used the psychology she learned at school to harm me with her words even worse labeling  with all of these now ridiculous things i never had but she made me such a nervous child i bit my nails ground my teeth and had migraines and nosebleeds from the chronic stress of having to hide what was being done to me by an adult when i was a little girl.
One day though there appeared to be a glimmer of hope. She locked me in a room again and wouldn't open the door she had slammed  so tightly. She had to call the superintendent to come up and open it  i was friends with his son and daughter and when he came up he found hand prints and nail marks where my sister had grabbed me and he screamed at her saying"you are an adult woman she is your baby sister are you crazy?! What are you doing?!! "what is the matter with you if you Ever do this again I am calling your father!"  he took me downstairs to be with his family. I was shaking from fear. A few times i peed in my pants because of her psychopathic abuse.
She told me i was the worst and did not deserve to live.
She repeatedly beat me and degrade me treating me like a slave from age five until 14 and told me she would kill me if i told our parents.
She enlisted other family members through her mask in her abuse-two adult uncles.
Now i know thay all the anger i feel towards politicos who abuse their power and those who pretend to be what they are not and Lie to people bother me so because of the torture by psychopath  that  i have survived.
I am a very happy person now creative and joyful since retaining an attorney to protect myself and keep her out of my life. It turns out that psychopaths have no boundaries and though i thought i expelled her from my life at 18 as late as 2012 she was still interfering in it. I was horrified as you can imagine to learn this do i got an attorney to ensure she would not enter my life again or she would be disturbing my right to a peaceful life.
I made it a point to go to san francisco where she once lived up until 2007 to obtain affidavits of firmer neighbors who stated she was an abusive person relentlessly abusing her husband-an orphan at 14 and her next perfect victim.  It was so bad someone called the police and three years after the fact of her move to new york these people were STILL discussing her psychopathic behavior
Armed with these affidavits i entered my attorneys office and drafted a letter stating that if she involve herself further in ANY way in my life we would take her to court present the evidence and her children could be taken.
I welcome any positive support in ny telling my story of torture by my adult sibling abuser, who is a psychopath.
I am learning to trust people again and i see they are not out to harm me brutally as my adult sister did.
Thank you.