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Hi,

I came to the conclusion that I may have been sexually abused as a child. A lot of signs point to it (physical sensations, depression, a lot of stuff really).

I find that when I'm about to get my period, ever since I've been having them, I am in a lot of pain, I cry a a lot, just a very very painful experience and would like to know if there could be a link? Also, I get insomnia pretty bad, hear voices and am super paranoid (feel like people are watching me all the time, that apartment neighbors can hear/see me through the wall, etc.).

I just wanna cry right now.

Thanks in advance for the responses.

I found this video particularly spot-on regarding my issues in relating with others.
Maybe some of you can get something out of it too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Rd8C2olIO0

Hi everyone,

I've been signed up to the forum for a while, reading a lot of you guys' stories, recognizing myself in some more than others.

I was a bit aprehensive about posting my story here but realized I do not have to go into all the details if I don't feel like it so here goes:

I was raised in a very unstable home (mentally ill sibling who caused a lot of chaos, abusive father) and was subjected to a lot of neglect/abandonment as a result of my parents having to constantly deal with the acting out of my sibling. Also, I come from a culture where hitting children is pretty normalized as a disciplinary measure, so there was that too.

I sometimes find it hard to believe that what I've been through during childhood and the beginning of adolescence is responsible for the mental health issues I've been having recently, thinking stuff like «It wasn't that bad» (probably due the minimizing of my mother whenever I'd come to her with complaints/sadness/anger/whatever) but when I really think about it, I was a miserable child, always angry or feeling empty and weird and disconnected from others.

Today, I still struggle with relationships (I don't have friends, never been in a romantic relationship) because I feel like everyone is dangerous due to bullying and all the reasons mentioned above. I feel depressed most of the time and get easily overstimulated and depleted. I do not have a diagnosis of C-PTSD but am looking to get one and possibly start psychotherapy soon.

I've been reading a psychology manual from my school's library in an attempt to make sense of my mind and it's been helpful. I really enjoy music, it makes me feel less alone.

I guess that's all. Nice to meet you all.