10-15-17 - Work will be challenging the next two weeks. I have an audit of my department (occurs every 3 years). It means dealing with authority figures, perfectionism (mainly my own) and criticism. I'm not so much concerned about the results of the audit. My main concern is that I am deep in the grieving/realization stage of my recovery (though I know this goes on for a lifetime) and I think I have to stop the grief work until the audit is over in two weeks. This work has been giving me a lot of relief but I sometimes come to work with puffy eyes or I'm somewhat drained the next day. I've been grieving several times a week and I fear stopping.
Also, it now feels sick when I fall into people pleasing mode around authority figures and these are "new" authority figures. I've decided to set a self care contract and journal nightly on my progress. After the two weeks is over, I plan on taking a trip for a few days which I will allow whatever emotion that needs to come up surface. I don't want to make the self care contract "too much" so I came up with a few things I can do each morning and night that I think might help. Here they are:
Every Morning
--Upon waking - 10 deep breaths
--Mirror affirmations to my inner child - we are safe, we are worthy, we are good enough, we are smart, we are loved, I love you
--Prayer for guidance and kindness to others
--Light breakfast
If Emotional Flashback
--Take a short break - find an empty conference room - breathe and read "getting out of EF list"
--Short stretch and breathing
Morning - one coffee only
Through out the day
--Plenty of water
--Healthy lunch
--Findings are not faults - think this when there is a finding
On the way home - call a recovery friend
After work
--Yoga - 30 min Yin or Gentle Yoga
--Talk to kids
--Talk to wife not about work
--15-20 min meditation
-- Minimum 6 hours of sleep
Let's see how I do. Remember, it doesn't have to me perfect.
Also, it now feels sick when I fall into people pleasing mode around authority figures and these are "new" authority figures. I've decided to set a self care contract and journal nightly on my progress. After the two weeks is over, I plan on taking a trip for a few days which I will allow whatever emotion that needs to come up surface. I don't want to make the self care contract "too much" so I came up with a few things I can do each morning and night that I think might help. Here they are:
Every Morning
--Upon waking - 10 deep breaths
--Mirror affirmations to my inner child - we are safe, we are worthy, we are good enough, we are smart, we are loved, I love you
--Prayer for guidance and kindness to others
--Light breakfast
If Emotional Flashback
--Take a short break - find an empty conference room - breathe and read "getting out of EF list"
--Short stretch and breathing
Morning - one coffee only
Through out the day
--Plenty of water
--Healthy lunch
--Findings are not faults - think this when there is a finding
On the way home - call a recovery friend
After work
--Yoga - 30 min Yin or Gentle Yoga
--Talk to kids
--Talk to wife not about work
--15-20 min meditation
-- Minimum 6 hours of sleep
Let's see how I do. Remember, it doesn't have to me perfect.