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Just thought that following on from Kizzie's discussion on psychological reactions to drugs. It might be helpful to me and others to start a discussion about physical reactions
I've always had issues with drugs but as I've got older there are more and more drugs and also some substances that I'm very intolerant to.

Just to give some examples:
Codeine, just 30mg, half what I was told to take had me rushed to A&E in an ambulance with suppressed breathing and lowered  heart rate. Told to never touch again not even an over the counter  small amount as it's too dangerous.

TARAVID,  Ofloxacin, Penecillin, (all antibiotics) left me with skin rash.

Tagamet (cimetidine) for GERD not sure what the US equivalent left me with a swollen liver and needing a full body scan to ensure no permanent damage to other organs.

Anti inflammatory drugs give me a gastric reaction.
Statins left me feeling  generally unwell, with dizziness and muscle pain.
Gabapentin led to very fast weight gain, I'm talking 20lbs in 6 weeks! Plus insomnia and feeling nauseous  all the time.
Citalopram (and boy did I need that at the time) left me with a gastric reaction as in severe indigestion, bloating and stomach pain
Tramadol - 50mg dropped my oxygen levels so low I passed out for several hours.
Pregabalin - Cold sweat and fainting.

An anaesthetist warned me he believes I'm an ultra-rapid metaboliser. Which means any drug metabolised through the liver can cause me problems or worse may have no effect at all. He diagnosed that from my reaction to Codeine.  A normal reaction is to metabolise 20% of codeine to Morphine through the liver. But ultra rapid metabolisers (like me) metabolise 70%+ into a morphine, hence my extreme reaction. It can kill! I have a similar reaction to all painkillers.  But the way we metabolise drugs is a genetic issue

But I believe that trauma may have over sensitised my system too.
I also have MS, Epilepsy (as part of MS), osteoarthritis so some of these drugs may have helped. I also have GERD so a very sensitive tummy too.

My osteopath believes that my whole system is ultra sensitive because of the trauma. But especially the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, hence the 'brain' in the tummy is ultra reactive. It's a nightmare negotiating drugs as I get older.
I even 'reacted' to digestive enzymes which are supposed to help your tummy. Plus food sensitivities like lactose etc.

Sorry but it's a long list.
Does anyone else recognise this journey?  Is this all down to genetics or can there be a trauma link to physical reactions.
I want to say yes as the ACE study points to physical illness so why not physical reactions? I'd be really interested in others experience with this.

Hi all,

Not sure if this is the right place to post this but I think the more research done about childhood trauma the better.  It also helps by spreading the word when the results are published. This one is for Chronic Illness and trauma. The neat trick on this one is that when you have submitted (and it's all anonymous) you can click to see all the results. It's very interesting.

The blog is called chronicillnesstraumastudies.com and the link to the survey is:

https://www.google.com/url?q=https://chronicillnesstraumastudies.com/survey-good-health-bad-health-grandmas-traumas-difficult-birth-make-difference/&sa=D&ust=1506357236713000&usg=AFQjCNEr4gBs6feiVxi3XEk1PbbPqn4Bhw

Thanks all

Can you explain please why I'm not getting any notifications for anything even though I've checked my settings and they seem to be right?

Apologies if they are not but sometimes terminology in the computing world is bizarre lol I should know I lectured in computing!

Just finished reading Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal by Donna Jackson Nakazawa  and really wanted to share it -  it's the best read since Pete Walker! I can finally see how 'Adverse Childhood Events' (CPTSD) really do cause physical damage it all makes sense.

So CPTSD changes the brain and that then changes chemicals, hormones, etc etc which in turn affects even the way genes express themselves and DNA acts. So many of us end up with very real illnesses caused by the past.

If anyone is struggling with getting the connection between the mind/body link then this book is a must. It also gives hope on the healing front too.

There are a couple of articles on the web she wrote which explain the science briefly and also I've included a link to the major study that the book is based on, including the questionnaire you can do to see if it may apply to you. Hope it's all useful for you guys.

Link to the research study on Adverse Childhood Events which includes the questionnaire:

http://www.acestudy.org/home

2 links to the quick explanations of the study /book by Donna Jackson Nakazawa.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-last-best-cure/201508/7-ways-childhood-adversity-changes-your-brain

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-last-best-cure/201508/8-ways-recover-post-childhood-adversity-syndrome

And lastly the book:

'Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal'  again by Donna Jackson Nakazawa.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Childhood-Disrupted-Biography-Becomes-Biology/dp/1476748357

Hi all,

Sorry I haven't really participated much, I'm a bit if a lurker I'm afraid! Plus I have been working so hard with my therapist on recovering that along with having had a really awful relapse of my MS this year has kinda got in the way.

But I am really keen to get all your opinions on this one subject. I still live in the same town I grew up in. My parents are still around although both in their mid-80's and don't go out at all so I never bump into them. I have been no contact for about 15 months now. But this is the town I grew up in and where my original trauma continued until I was 27 years old, I'm now 60.

So I'm wrestling with whether to move away or not. As I have lived here all my life I really don't know if moving will help with the healing process or not. My hubbie is 67 and happy to do whatever I need to heal but I can't make him move from a really lovely home to find it doesn't help and we lose lots of money!

So anyone happy to share their experiences please? Stay or move?

Thanks in advance guys.
Pat x

As I'm new here. I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place but  I could really do with some advice on this one.

Background for those who don't know - there's a history where I was forced into marriage at 16 years old with a guy who turned out to be a psycopath, then last year my parents told me (and only me not my siblings in case it upset them) that they also had been pregnant when they married and that all the anniversary celebrations we had shared to that point had been a lie!

So a few weeks ago I told my enablingF that I would not go to their 60th anniversary celebrations as I was not young to take part in the lie that they had hurt me so much with. Especially as they had told me my uNPDM had got pregannant on purpose and was 23!!

There was a huge fall out from this but my SIL was my biggest advocate and explained to 2 of my brothers how painful this revelation had been for me and they then all recognised the lie and I had lovely validating phone calls of support from them all. Then they persuaded my Father to drop the idea of a party at all.

That may seem like the end of the story but since then I have not spoken to or seen my parents as in my mind I feel that I really need to go no contact with them.  In fact my brother told me it was best to stay awy for now as my Father still hadn't dropped the subject.. But I live in a very small town and yesterday I ended up asking my hubbie to go to the chemist for me as I was scared to go on my own in case I bumped into my father. Bear in mind he is now a little 82 year old man. But he festers and won't drop things and move on and I know they will be blaming me and making sure the whole family know I have done something terrible again.

Well my dilemma is that my SIL said to me on the phone last night to be very careful if I never see them again that when something happens to one of them I may end up feeling very guilty and that would be worse for me! Worse - how can it be worse than the shame and fear they left me with?

On top of that my T has pointed out to me that as control is a major issue for me if I leave things hanging and I live in the same town the there is an unpredictability about it that may see me end up with unexpected contact that I can't deal with.  Although she has also said if you do then don't look on no contact as punishing them but as taking care of you. But she has left me to make the decision.

So guys I could really do with some help on this one. I am really fearful still  of any contact as the last twice I have ended up shaking and crying for ages afterwards. But at the same time living with the possibility of a chance meeting or phone call also fills me with dread. Can anyone offer their thoughts or share experiences on this. I have read loads on no contact vs low contact but we actually live less than half a mile away from them.

Thanks for listening x

Hi all,

So sorry about the possible triggers in this but impossible to introduce your story without some really. 

I have used this same intro on the out of the fog forum so those I met over there will know me but it has been a while. I have been working with my T on some very difficult stuff in recent months and that caused me to sort of hide away again which was not the result I expected but apparently quite normal for what we were doing. This is a fab new resource and it's going to take me days to get through all the wonderful info.

I am always concerned about how to summarise my story quickly as so many of you will have done, especially when it is long and complex. I am 59 and to everyone outside have had a really good life especially in recent years but very briefly this is the story as to why I am now in healing from Complex PTSD and struggling with an ageing uNPDM and enablingF.

I really had no idea that my parents even had a PD until last year. I was so embroiled in CPTSD that I just took all the blame on board myself. I thought that my problem had started when I was 15 and I got pregnant and although my baby died at birth, my parents made me marry the father (who was 21 years old) just 6 weeks after the birth. They made me feel so ashamed and told me that no one else would ever look at me let alone marry me so I had no choice.

There began a very abusive relationship to a psychopath which lasted 11 years. I finally left when I didn't care if he did kill me! It turned out my fears were justified when his next 'victim' was actually murdered by him a few years after I left. 3 days later he killed himself rather than face authority and own up to what he had done. He tried to cover up his crime by faking a double suicide, but the court returned a verdict of 'unlawful killing' by him. Apparently you cannot be labelled a murderer if you are dead.

I was lucky as I met and married a wonderful man who is still with me 30 years later. I have 4 children 2 from my first marriage and 2 with my new hubbie, I returned to Higher education at 37 and completed a degree and worked 20 years as a University lecturer and in that time was very successful even completing a. PhD.

End of story it may seem - well not quite! I spent those 30 years burying my feelings about what had happened by developing very unhelpful schemas of perfectionism, unrelenting standards, doormat syndrome, subjugation, etc.  All very destructive schemas but they were my coping mechanisms. Then bang I am diagnosed with MS and the world I had fought to build came tumbling down around my ears. No longer able to do everything for everyone and keep the professional status I had attained to prove I was okay (dependent on outside validation), my CPTSD symptoms took on a stranglehold. I was lucky that a therapist in the neurology team recognised it from her work with war veterans.

Then another shock when 6 months into the therapy the realisation came that my parents paved the way for my ex by preparing me to be a victim all my life!  You guys know how soul destroying it is to know the life you thought you had was not! I am now trying very hard to cope from this new information and heal from the CPTSD.  I have also recently had some more really nasty knocks and confrontations with my parents, it seems that ageing does not heal PDs.

Thank you to all of you for being here and for listening, I'm looking forward to meeting some of you. Just bear in mind I am based in the UK so there may me a time lag in my replies and doing some pretty radical therapy too at the moment which often knocks me sideways!

Thanks for listening x