I'm thinking of making a really huge life change...
Basically for the last 8-10 years I've been pursuing and working in a field that I was convinced is what I wanted in my life. I have CPTSD issues from childhood but I believed I was capable of doing this work. But in this career I have to work very closely with other people which has caused a lot of anxiety because of occasionally having to deal with angry and irrational people. I also have to get up and speak in front of crowds of people quite regularly. While I was always extremely confident in front of crowds before, shortly after starting this career I starting having huge difficulties being in front of people... from nervousness to full-on panic attacks. This has made the last several years hellish for me because I never know when the panic will return, whether I'll be able to get through the next presentation, etc. I've been working under the assumption that the anxiety will get better and will work itself out as I continue, so I've been soldiering on hoping improvement will come... but this hasn't happened. In many ways its gotten worse. I'm very good at what I do and so many people look to me as an example in this field but they have no idea what I'm going through inside. I honestly think that this is what I want to do in my life... so its extremely difficult to think of just walking away from it all and starting a totally new path in life. But at this point I don't see any other way... the anxiety isn't getting better and life is becoming miserable.
I dream of starting a life where I can have some safe people to share with and where I can work on recovery issues without being perpetually re-triggered by difficult people and public-speaking anxiety. Still I'm terrified to make that step because I have no idea what I would do with my life and I have fears of ending up broke and alone with no where to turn.
Anyway, no specific questions for people, just if you'd like to chime in with advice I'd love to hear it. Thanks.
Basically for the last 8-10 years I've been pursuing and working in a field that I was convinced is what I wanted in my life. I have CPTSD issues from childhood but I believed I was capable of doing this work. But in this career I have to work very closely with other people which has caused a lot of anxiety because of occasionally having to deal with angry and irrational people. I also have to get up and speak in front of crowds of people quite regularly. While I was always extremely confident in front of crowds before, shortly after starting this career I starting having huge difficulties being in front of people... from nervousness to full-on panic attacks. This has made the last several years hellish for me because I never know when the panic will return, whether I'll be able to get through the next presentation, etc. I've been working under the assumption that the anxiety will get better and will work itself out as I continue, so I've been soldiering on hoping improvement will come... but this hasn't happened. In many ways its gotten worse. I'm very good at what I do and so many people look to me as an example in this field but they have no idea what I'm going through inside. I honestly think that this is what I want to do in my life... so its extremely difficult to think of just walking away from it all and starting a totally new path in life. But at this point I don't see any other way... the anxiety isn't getting better and life is becoming miserable.
I dream of starting a life where I can have some safe people to share with and where I can work on recovery issues without being perpetually re-triggered by difficult people and public-speaking anxiety. Still I'm terrified to make that step because I have no idea what I would do with my life and I have fears of ending up broke and alone with no where to turn.
Anyway, no specific questions for people, just if you'd like to chime in with advice I'd love to hear it. Thanks.