Today is a hard day.
For months I've been pushing myself to work on C PTSD, my downward spirals, and depression.
Some of it is physical, my hip and back after having babies and a couple of surgeries. So I'm working on physical therapy too. As well as trying to get more sleep, which isn't easy with a two-year-old.
Some of it is food-related, it's so hard especially on bad days to stick to taking care of myself with food. And then on good days I think I can eat anything I want. So I feel like I'm constantly in a cycle of trying to refocus on why I want to eat better.
But mostly it's emotional. I'm tired and lonely and overwhelmed most of the time. We left our church back in September. I've been there 15 years. It's pretty upsetting but most of the crap we were dealing with was just beyond reasonable. I feel I've lost most of my friends, my support system, all of the help I had in place, and my coping patterns.
I'm sure that there's some ways it's a good thing because now I'm finding that some of that system was so shallow that it wasn't worth holding on to. But I still feel like I'm floundering in the rest of life.
Thanks for being an outlet. I don't really know what to do today except to rest and cry a little bit and try to enjoy my kids as much as I can.
Today I tried to reach out for some phone or video counseling. We'll see how that goes.
For months I've been pushing myself to work on C PTSD, my downward spirals, and depression.
Some of it is physical, my hip and back after having babies and a couple of surgeries. So I'm working on physical therapy too. As well as trying to get more sleep, which isn't easy with a two-year-old.
Some of it is food-related, it's so hard especially on bad days to stick to taking care of myself with food. And then on good days I think I can eat anything I want. So I feel like I'm constantly in a cycle of trying to refocus on why I want to eat better.
But mostly it's emotional. I'm tired and lonely and overwhelmed most of the time. We left our church back in September. I've been there 15 years. It's pretty upsetting but most of the crap we were dealing with was just beyond reasonable. I feel I've lost most of my friends, my support system, all of the help I had in place, and my coping patterns.
I'm sure that there's some ways it's a good thing because now I'm finding that some of that system was so shallow that it wasn't worth holding on to. But I still feel like I'm floundering in the rest of life.
Thanks for being an outlet. I don't really know what to do today except to rest and cry a little bit and try to enjoy my kids as much as I can.
Today I tried to reach out for some phone or video counseling. We'll see how that goes.