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Topics - personal

#1
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Hi to everyone
February 14, 2019, 11:30:23 PM
Hi to everyone,
I have alot to be thankful for - I finally escaped a long term (almost 30 years) relationship about 2 years ago. I could not however, go No Contact, until recently, for reasons known only to the man upstairs, more likely my pity and compassion for someone who had emotionally, financially and psychologically abused me . Yeah, it's amazing how  difficult this process of REALLY separating has been.
Before I left I had some serious issues mentally and physically and was just closing down. Scary...
But here I am, I'm alive and I have been trying , trying .... I'm alot better than I was but have a long way to go...
I have a bit of a support network but need to be around people who have lived experience..
So, thanks to everyone who shares their journey. The stories give me perspective, hope, insights, information and a sense I am not alone .
I hope I can contribute in a positive way and become part of the OOTS community.
#2
Sleep Issues / Dreams
February 10, 2019, 07:47:03 AM
Hi All,
I had a dream last night, that told me everything about how I was really coping with things.

It was night ( isn't it always ?) My ex partner was sitting on a bench seat outside my flat in the yard watching me.  He looked like he had every right to be there. He even brought his bicycle to change a tyre out there. !
At another point he was in a big white four wheel drive and seemed a very powerful, self possesed figure.
He was an intimidating presence.
I remember in my dream, that he had complete power over me and I just closed my eyes in defeat.
I woke up feeling awful and trapped.

Today, I have reflected on the fact that although he is hopefully out of my life, the extent of his mental control of me is still present.
Wondering if anyone else has had some bad dreams too.