Hi everyone,
I am curious if and how other people have brought up certain subjects with a new therapist. I've never experienced this before, but I'm having three conversations with a potential therapist before even starting, to see if it's a good fit.
The last appointment is coming up, and I want to mention sexual assault, incest, and covert incest. And shortly describe how those resulted in intimacy and general relationship issues. I've never said any of that out loud, and I don't think I would feel the need to, if my last therapist hadn't done everything she could to avoid the subject. She would essentially go bright red every time, and then find a way to quickly move away from the subject sex altogether. She once even got up and paced around the room.
I don't want that to happen again, and want to see how this therapist responds. But. I have no idea how to. I feel embarassed and ashamed, I've never been able to say it out loud – typing is very different for me. It's going to be incredibly difficult to say that to someone who's basically a stranger. So I was hoping some of you have experience with bringing this up.
And just in case anyone has any experience with this too – I guess I could make a different post somewhere else, but I can't really find a more appropriate place – please tell me if that's a better idea. I want to mention I'm bisexual, and that I have some trauma around that. Again, this has to do with my last therapist not being the most progressive person, and not wanting that to happen again. So I asked for a LGBT+ friendly therapist, and this is a huge assumption, but I get the sense that this therapist is a gay man. Unfortunately my trauma mainly comes from experiencing biphobia from the LGBT+ community. Specifically, cis gay men and lesbians. Which results in me being very nervous to bring this up with him. On the one hand, I think it's kind of ridiculous to think a gay man would judge a bisexual woman, but it simply is my experience that LGBT+ friendly does not always mean accepting of bisexuals. And whatever I rationally think, I know it would be very triggering to get even a slightly negative response. And if he's straight, I'm afraid he won't understand a word of what I'm saying. I just don't know how to prepare myself or find the words.
Any thoughts or advice, it's all welcome.
(I LOVED this emoji when I was young and can not resist using it, even though this isn't a cheerful subject, I have to. I LOVE HER. )
I am curious if and how other people have brought up certain subjects with a new therapist. I've never experienced this before, but I'm having three conversations with a potential therapist before even starting, to see if it's a good fit.
The last appointment is coming up, and I want to mention sexual assault, incest, and covert incest. And shortly describe how those resulted in intimacy and general relationship issues. I've never said any of that out loud, and I don't think I would feel the need to, if my last therapist hadn't done everything she could to avoid the subject. She would essentially go bright red every time, and then find a way to quickly move away from the subject sex altogether. She once even got up and paced around the room.
I don't want that to happen again, and want to see how this therapist responds. But. I have no idea how to. I feel embarassed and ashamed, I've never been able to say it out loud – typing is very different for me. It's going to be incredibly difficult to say that to someone who's basically a stranger. So I was hoping some of you have experience with bringing this up.
And just in case anyone has any experience with this too – I guess I could make a different post somewhere else, but I can't really find a more appropriate place – please tell me if that's a better idea. I want to mention I'm bisexual, and that I have some trauma around that. Again, this has to do with my last therapist not being the most progressive person, and not wanting that to happen again. So I asked for a LGBT+ friendly therapist, and this is a huge assumption, but I get the sense that this therapist is a gay man. Unfortunately my trauma mainly comes from experiencing biphobia from the LGBT+ community. Specifically, cis gay men and lesbians. Which results in me being very nervous to bring this up with him. On the one hand, I think it's kind of ridiculous to think a gay man would judge a bisexual woman, but it simply is my experience that LGBT+ friendly does not always mean accepting of bisexuals. And whatever I rationally think, I know it would be very triggering to get even a slightly negative response. And if he's straight, I'm afraid he won't understand a word of what I'm saying. I just don't know how to prepare myself or find the words.
Any thoughts or advice, it's all welcome.
(I LOVED this emoji when I was young and can not resist using it, even though this isn't a cheerful subject, I have to. I LOVE HER. )