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Topics - Rainbow2

#1
I am feeling tired of this, I feel quite ahead of myself and like I am not all here, I feel dreamy and tired and the noises around me sound '' big'', '' loud '' and '' weird '' everything sounds '' distorted'' because of how my mind feels.

I am tired, tired of having to feel this way , having to deal with things I never asked to deal with . I feel trapped in this life , trapped with the same scenes the same problems, isolation, weirdness.

I feel flat squashed on and like someone '' abused '' my face feels flat I feel like my mind has been trodden on , I feel weird.

my older sister is coming down later with my niece and nephew as much as I want to see my nephew I am simply not in the mood to be around them when I feel like this..
some of my symptoms have also been worsening recently and i am not even sure why

so fed up of having to deal with this and yet i am supposed to keep helping myself even if i do not want to or even if i am tired.. life feels like a weird sick joke..
#2
ok .. so i wanted to write a post about a problem i had a while back which was '' online betting '' basically i became stupidly addicted and very self destructive, i basically chucked away most of my money and now i just feel like a stupid fool.
I used all of my grans inheritance money which was 5000 pounds , and i also used my other money so basically i chucked it all away , what for .

i wanted to post this up on here because i feel i need someones opinion and support on this.

Apparently i am not allowed the money back or any of it because it is me who betted and they are refusing to give it back regardless of the fact i have mental health issues, this makes me a bit upset.

I did end up winning some money but i only threw it away again , basically i only put a stop to it after most of my money had dissappeared ,

i wish there was a way to be able to get some of the money back but i do not think there is...

at the time of doing this i felt '' not very mentally well at all'' and i was also going through phases of scratching my skin

is betting classed as '' self harm '' '' self abuse '' ....
#3
Please Introduce Yourself Here / hello, new here
October 21, 2018, 09:00:54 PM
hello, i am new here.

I have been through a lot of trauma in my life, emotional neglect as a kid and later into adulthood i went through abuse related traumas.  Sometimes i feel so confused, and i have this feeling of .. '' but why me '' '' why so much trauma '' .

I deal with dissociation, depersonalisation, derealisation , i also have a number of different parts of myself. I also deal with noise distortions which at times can be quite distressing and upsetting.

Although i do not have a specific diagnosis, i have been through a lot of traUma .

I hope this forum to be of some type of help to me.