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Taking bit of a leap here. But I think its time. Im struggling at the moment, but I feel a journal may benefit in some ways.

Hello. I have some trouble making sense of things sometimes so please excuse this post if it seems a bit odd or if Im repeating myself. So what brings me here?  Well, I had a bad upbringing from my family, and loads of emotional neglect, as well as an early life threatening incident due to said neglect. I have a lot of social anxiety and other lesser anxieties, that get in the way of things I'd like to do. At the moment I am dealing with depression-I think im processing a lot of past things for the first time and its a hard road.

Tried a bunch of therapists, some helped a little, most didnt. Have found most help through various books, and notably that Pete Walker one mentioned on this site. I dont have a support network, but am hoping to build one gradually, as I am also trying to deal with a lot of everyday practical tasks that have become quite big and so involve quite a bit of energy from me.

I like music, films, I care about people a lot (too much?), and have other interests too.  I think im gradually broadening out my inner coping mechanisms, being more kind to myself and so on, and also broadening out my future hopes and things to what works for me and what I really feel, whereas in the past I was always doing it for what I thought others expected of me.

Just the other day I pushed myself (far) too hard doing something and today I am struggling with the outcome of it. Hence a perhaps repeated post due to fatigue.