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Topics - Patticake

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General Discussion / Talking to others with childlike humor
« on: March 25, 2019, 06:23:50 PM »
Hello all. I was diagnosed with Cptsd in 2012, although Iíve had it since the late 70ís. Back then I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder & Depression. This forum is wonderful & you are all helping me so much. Thank you. This is my second post and I am somewhat embarrassed to share this info, but feel many of you may understand. I find that when I go out in public, doesnít really matter where, I find myself starting conversations with fellow shoppers, check out clerks, hair stylists, etc, btw, these are complete strangers,  where I say what I think are funny remarks & proceed like I am a comedian. I find myself overtalking. Most people respond okay, but I feel like a fool after I do this because my humor is sophomoric & juvenile. I am 64 years old, but I oftentimes behave like a young teenager. I canít seem to control myself.

I feel compelled to behave like this. I have not matured properly. I get nervous around people and just start talking. I donít know how to just talk normally. I was my FOOís jokster. I think it was the only way I could get any attention in my depressing home.

Does anyone else have this problem? I am aware that I do this so I donít do it as much as I used to. I catch myself & try to stay quiet, but it is difficult. I can only go out sporadically when I am having a fairly good day. This overtalking is ridiculous & embarrassing. Any help would be very appreciated. Thank you for listening & being there. ;)

Introductory Post / Sister disagrees about our FOO neglect & abuse
« on: March 10, 2019, 02:31:43 AM »
My older sister & I are only surviving members of FOO. I developed CPTSD in my early 20ís as did another sister who is now deceased. I am now 64 yrs. old. This sister & I have a long history of off & on communication.

She is like my narc F, but defenies or minimizes his abusive behavior of SA of me & my deceased sister. She states he didnít abuse her.  She is now very ill & we have re-engaged after no contact for several years.

I get very anxious during & after our conversations as she is so much like FOO in negativity & drama. I basically donít like her at all. Contact with her drains me & I sink into depression & darkness. I am considering going NC permanently, but because she is so ill, I donít know if that would be too cruel.

I am currently very ill from CPTSD. I am weak, fragile & lonely. I am widowed & barely able to endure any social interaction. I cannot get close to anyone in an authentic way.

Iím new here. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thank you for listening. :)

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