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Topics - lulu

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Introductory Post / New here
« on: June 19, 2019, 08:40:26 AM »
Hi I am new here. I had a difficult upbringing and have had lots of challenges in life.  I think the biggest thing is the confusion, not really getting things, especially people, feeling rejected and alone.  It's quite hard to even make sense of what happened in my upbringing, it appeared normal on the outside and I grew up thinking it was, (it was all I had known after all).

I was very unhappy growing up and believed it was my fault.  I have spent the greater part of my adult life trying to 'fix' myself.  I was fortunate to eventually meet an energy worker who helped me for the first time in my life. (Despite previous long term attempts at psychotherapy, which I think made things worse).  I began to understand the effects of my parents and siblings behaviour, some overt, mainly covert and how I was the scapegoat child.

I feel I fumble my way through life, and struggle every day.  I find it lonely being so isolated, friends have come and gone, and I find interaction with people very challenging.  I am trembling as I type this and on the verge of tears.  Fear of rejection is looming large.  I would love to be able to talk about what happened to me and be understood, I find so many people are in denial and do not want to know. I can understand this, but it makes me feel I am apart from the rest of the world.   

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