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Topics - mikenoodle

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Therapy / Trauma Therapy Begins Today
« on: November 04, 2019, 11:54:57 PM »
My Therapist and I have been working together for almost 10 years and have made huge progress for me and my personal life. we recently reached a point where the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy reached it's effective end and for the ongoing C-PTSD work, she recommended that i see a Trauma therapist.

This morning was my first appointment and I have to say that I may have gotten lucky and found a good match on the first try, although this was a referral from my CBT therapist who knew me very well. It's frustrating to make an appointment... wait... meet them and not feel comfortable, or just not seem to mesh, but it appears that I may have struck water on the first drill, so to speak, and for that I am eternally grateful.

We met for the typical 50 minute session and covered just a bit of my story and what we are trying to accomplish. I mentioned this forum to her and she said that she has another client that has mentioned it as well. I told her that i thought that this was an incredible place and to date the only place that i have EVER found that understands what I am dealing with. Kudos, Kizzie!!!

She said that she believes that it will take about the first 4 sessions to get to know me and create realistic goals for therapy.

I recently read that the Admin here was successful with EMRT and it's a big part of what this trauma therapist does, although she combines it with other therapies. I was really apprehensive that today wouldn't go well, and I am happily surprised that we seem to be a match and that she seems to be confident that she can help.

There may be hope for me yet...

General Discussion / A Day That I Couldnít Control
« on: October 10, 2019, 11:11:44 PM »
Hi everybody.

Today marks 30 years since my Father died.

He was my primary abuser and is responsible for much of what I suffer with today.

When your primary abuser is a parent, it alters your entire sense of reality. All of the typical answers donít apply because the people that should give you strength and support are the people who abuse you. There is no place for you to find unconditional love, and there is no place to learn how to love and how to accept love from others.

I know Iím kind of rambling, but it feels right.

Normally, I donít give this day too much thought, but lately my Therapist and I have been working on my issues with him that still haunt me. This made today more present in my mind and therefore, more unavoidable.

I am sad. I am angry. I am confused. I am lonely, and I hurt.

I just wanted to get it out somewhere as I donít feel comfortable sharing things this deep with anyone, except maybe my wife.

General Discussion / Starting to heal
« on: September 08, 2019, 03:26:45 PM »

Yesterday I returned to youth coaching. Bowling, for the record, as I bowled in college and still love to bowl competitively.

Yesterday was the best day that I have had in several years.

Originally, I was coaching when I worked at my old job. When they laid us off, I had to take 2 jobs to replace the income and I had to work on Saturday mornings.

When I took my current job, the part time money helped, and so I kept the part time Saturday job.

The owner of that store suddenly decided to close in March of  this year. I was given only 2 days notice, but I had been promoted recently at work and so I seriously was starting to question the value of working 6 days per week.

Yesterday felt like such a success! The kids (age 7-12) are just at the age where you can teach them solid fundamentals and really have an impact on their game for years to come. It is also an age where bowling should be play and it should be fun, so coach Mike has only 2 rules: Rule #1: Bowling is fun. Rule #2: If bowling isn’t fun, do something fun instead.

Meeting the kids for the first time is fun, I try to take a very positive and cheerleading attitude when I am coaching them and sprinkle in a little bit about swing mechanics, balance, lane conditions, targeting, and of course, lane courtesy.

The parents are always funny, especially the first week. They’ve got to let you know about their child’s needs, strengths and weaknesses. I have one Dad that is a little overbearing with his son in his coaching. Fortunately, we have a policy of no parents in the settee area, so the boy just stays up by the lane and I can coach him independently of his Dad. He already commented that bowling was more fun yesterday.

By the end of the session, the kids were smiling and happy, I had made some new friends, and earned the trust and respect of more than a few parents.

This is a huge thing for me. I haven’t felt this type of satisfaction in a very long time. When I broke down a few months ago, I hoped that a day like this would still be possible.  I believe that this was a huge step for me, and I wanted to share.

I hope that it encourages others to keep working at getting healthy.

I’m sorry for rambling but I felt like I should explain why I coach and why it means so much to me.

General Discussion / Noodleís journey
« on: July 10, 2019, 12:27:25 AM »
Hey all. I just recently joined and I wanted to share some of the things that I go through as I recover from a full-blown C-PTSD relapse. I was in bad shape and didnít know if I was going to make it, but the episode is over now, the healing has begun and tomorrow I head back to work for the first time in 6 weeks.

Iíll try to add to it as often as I can.

Today, I am excited to get back to work. Not anxious, but actual excitement.

My boss and my company have been incredibly supportive and I know that I am incredibly lucky to have them on my side.

The past 2 days I have had some real peace in my life. Not a bunch of stress, just relaxation and rest.

I woke to an alarm today just to see how I would react and it went perfectly. (Long story, maybe some other time, but letís say that iíve never really slept very well.)

Thatís it for today. Iíll give a first day back report tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

New Members / New member here
« on: July 03, 2019, 01:17:29 AM »
Hi everyone. Iím new here. My name is Mike.

I came here looking for others who are dealing with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

There is surprisingly little available online as it is such a new diagnosis. I am grasping at straws at the moment looking for others who share my pain.

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