I don't actually know whether I am a real person. All of my feelings seem so fake. Because I find it so hard to know what I feel about anything. Of course I have moments of excitement. It really seems like I am a facsimile. This been going on all of my adult life. I am also drinking myself into an early grave. I have a past of : a mother who suffered a nervous breakdown, which developed into paranoid schizophrenia. That day was really crap and frightening at 7 years old. One day that I hate to talk about 2 weeks after the breakdown. One day when she said go to your grandparents (across our town, way off in the 70's) So I did that. And came back to find her unresponsive. Suicide day. Called the ambulance, police etc. Too late
Father did his best. Eventually met a new person. Except they were a vile nasty horrible violent abusive awful person. This went on for years. I don't want to seem like a moaner or a weak person, but I have been struggling with this all of my life since then. The abuse certainly made life a * of a lot worse. I'm sorry if this is a crap introduce post, but its the best I can do. I joined this group to hopefully find some kindred spirits
Father did his best. Eventually met a new person. Except they were a vile nasty horrible violent abusive awful person. This went on for years. I don't want to seem like a moaner or a weak person, but I have been struggling with this all of my life since then. The abuse certainly made life a * of a lot worse. I'm sorry if this is a crap introduce post, but its the best I can do. I joined this group to hopefully find some kindred spirits