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So in August I started therapy on the hopes of having EMDR.    I was told I was so disassociated that EMDR would not work.  We did talk therapy until my therapist felt I was ready and he did EMDR for the first time a few weeks ago.    After that we hit a plateau after I was triggerd and I began to disassociate again.    He suggested Ketamine since talk therapy and EMDR aren't really "working" and I have an appointment set for Saturday for a Ketamine infusion.    Has anyone done this?   Thoughts ?   I  am scared but excited....

So, a few weeks ago I was diagnosed with CPTSD from 4 years of consistent rape and molestation from ages of 8-12.    When I initially told “my story” to the therapist it was like I was telling someone else’s story.   I was triggered by a “friend” telling me of her daughters molestation that she didn’t report.   You better believe I called the Sheriffs office, CPS, went down with the school counselor (school wasn’t in session yet, but all the staff was there), everything I could do to fight for this 10 year old since it was evident her mom was not.   My whole body reaction to that situation made me realize it is time to see a therapist.    I went to one who was an intern, it was obvious he was ill equipped and he mentioned seeing someone that does EMDR.   So I did just that, after our second session he said he was afraid to do EMDR on me because I am so disassociated that I would just road block it.   Our last session was Thursday, I go back on Wednesday but I am having feelings flooding back, not memories, but feelings.    Until recently I have never had a panic attack and I have had now had 2 in the last week.  * is happening?    I am so completely lost, alone and scared to death.    I have a supportive husband with whom I am afraid to share.    Has anyone else experienced once they start therapy it gets worse, and then hopefully can tell me it gets better?   Thanks

Hi all.  I am in my 40's and have finally sought therapy for childhood sexual abuse that I never reported that happened between the ages of 8-12, compile in to that a series of unfourtanate events from risky behavior that include another rape in my 20's.   3 weeks ago I was diagnosed with CPTSD and I am scared to death.  I saw one therapist  intern two times and I don't feel like he was equipped to "handle" me.  I just left a session with a more seasoned therapist and I now have a plan.  He confirmed CPTSD and is shocked I have been able to live a successful life without therapy all of these years, he said I am the queen of disassociation.  He is going to do EMDR with me down the road, but work has to be done before that.  Today was my first session with him and my third therapist session.   Has anyone done EMDR, Was it successful in your process?   Or just prayers would be great as I start down the road I should have started on decades ago.   Thanks all.