Topics

I'm wondering whether anyone else has a problem that seems like the "opposite" of what's usually discussed:  an inability to feel angry.

I know I have reason to be angry:  a uNPD parent, a similarly abuse sibling, renewed harassment that threatens my financial security (which is tenuous in any case).  I know I spent decades trying to dodge the abuse, both physical and emotional, while never naming it until about 25 years ago, when I finally went NC.

But I don't have the usual "problems" with anger, the response I hear and read about.

Rather, I feel distressed but not enraged, though I don't think I deserved any of this treatment and I don't feel guilty about going NC.  Intellectually, I'm sorry for my abusers.  I'm pretty sure my parent suffered something horrible, and I know my sibling did. 

I have dissociation and emotional flashbacks (frequently of late).  I've read Pete Walker on "angering" as a way to respond to memories.  I've been trying to learn grounding techniques.  I've also been learning some somatic responses to CPTSD.  Still, no overt anger. 

Does anyone else have this experience?

After reading a large segment of the forum, I finally registered.  I'm wary of on-line forums, but the messages here tell familiar stories.  Over the past year or so, I've been thrust back into the symptoms of CPTSD.  I last experienced this kind of storm twenty-five years ago, when the label was very new.  I've been trying to learn about research and treatment developed since then.  Clearly, much has changed.

Questions keep arising for me, so perhaps this community can help.  And I hope to contribute here from time to time.