TW for the thread: Christmas and Overbearing FOO.
My FOO is planning to fly to my state for Christmas and it's kind of an implied given that they'll stay at my house for the holiday. I have several issues with this...
1. I live with chronic pain and CPTSD. My house is not... perfect. I do clean when I can, but I'm also no where near as diligent about it as my FOO who would spot a faint stain on the kitchen cabinet. So I'm just immediately dreading the fact that I'll have to spring clean my entire house, and my energy and pain levels be dammed - I HAVE to do it.
2. They have no consideration for my own situation, wants me to travel with them to other relatives in the state and have me coach there + I'd need to hire someone to look after my cats and that gets up to $300 (probably more than that because Christmas...) just to be out of my house for a few days. But my FOO doesn't care. They even want ME to book the coach and plan for my own inner-state trip that I don't even want to partake in. Maybe it would be easier if they paid me back the $6000 I loaned them last year...
3. Even if I could afford to be away from my cats, I get such extreme separation anxiety that it pretty much overrides any amount of leisure I might obtain from my time away. I live alone with my cats and they're the only close company I have. I've hired people to look after them for previous trips but even that didn't stop the anxiety. It's the kind of anxiety that completely clouds your senses and I spend half of my time checking my house cameras to ensure everything is okay. Without getting into details, I've had people breaking and entering before so hah, yeah... really, anxious is an underrated way to describe it all.
But despite all my complaints, I of course don't have a choice. Feeling so frustrated and tired and my heart is hurting. I wanted to start my Sunday relaxing but I have this knot in my chest now and my head is so fuzzy.
My FOO is planning to fly to my state for Christmas and it's kind of an implied given that they'll stay at my house for the holiday. I have several issues with this...
1. I live with chronic pain and CPTSD. My house is not... perfect. I do clean when I can, but I'm also no where near as diligent about it as my FOO who would spot a faint stain on the kitchen cabinet. So I'm just immediately dreading the fact that I'll have to spring clean my entire house, and my energy and pain levels be dammed - I HAVE to do it.
2. They have no consideration for my own situation, wants me to travel with them to other relatives in the state and have me coach there + I'd need to hire someone to look after my cats and that gets up to $300 (probably more than that because Christmas...) just to be out of my house for a few days. But my FOO doesn't care. They even want ME to book the coach and plan for my own inner-state trip that I don't even want to partake in. Maybe it would be easier if they paid me back the $6000 I loaned them last year...
3. Even if I could afford to be away from my cats, I get such extreme separation anxiety that it pretty much overrides any amount of leisure I might obtain from my time away. I live alone with my cats and they're the only close company I have. I've hired people to look after them for previous trips but even that didn't stop the anxiety. It's the kind of anxiety that completely clouds your senses and I spend half of my time checking my house cameras to ensure everything is okay. Without getting into details, I've had people breaking and entering before so hah, yeah... really, anxious is an underrated way to describe it all.
But despite all my complaints, I of course don't have a choice. Feeling so frustrated and tired and my heart is hurting. I wanted to start my Sunday relaxing but I have this knot in my chest now and my head is so fuzzy.