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Yesterday I attended this lecture by my good friend Adrian Melia, his subject was recovery.

http://bullyonline.org/recovering/recovering_from_workplace_bullying.htm

an unset letter I wrote after a good friend raised the issue. It took this to overcome the issue. Remember I have Legal Abuse Syndrome and my letters reflect that factor. I am okay with comments.

Dear xyz,

I have been approached on your behalf, to be friendly and understanding. Not sure if this is from you directly, but if it did then read on else stop reading, as it is irrelevant and will not help you in any way. 

I thought I had been by not being around and absorbing a great deal that you have not been made aware of. I am of course aware of the difficult situation you have been in even though I said nothing I did know what some of what those wider issues were, and had known them for many years. Indeed why I had originally left the village. I think you may all forgot I investigate behaviour.

From my perspective all was judged on the confirmation of a message.

A miscalculation based on the simple assumption that a message was intercepted and this I believe now was a false assumption. Problems arose from that simple factual deception. Either the message was intercepted or I had been deceived. Why this occurred may be justifiable but sadly had a large unforeseen affect later. I was disappointed at this but I forgave it a long time ago, though I admit it still hurts a great deal to this day.

It therefore placed me in an untenable position once I became aware of the situation three months later and I started the long road of damage limitation for both of us, by neutralising the book and issuing an apology via your sister to hopefully initiate a reciprocal one from yourself in time. You did not see the wisdom of this course of action, it was a tough ask so no problem there either. It was worth making the effort in my opinion.

I concluded that no further good could come from papering over these glaring 'misunderstanding'. We had tried that approach years before but it was plain that that had not really worked. I needed you to arrive at that conclusion for yourself, after one year I gave up waiting and walked away. 

I have done my best and cannot see I could have been more understanding and patient about all this. So the intervention is not really a relevant issue.

I wrote this a couple of years ago, it is only one part of the whole book, that I have worked on as part of my recovery. There are 49 and just waiting for the illustrations. I found I wrote a great deal and even the name 'Linden' harks back to a time of innocence, I lived in a road of the same name! It was subconscious and the specialist thinks it is significant. Some are to dark to include.

~ Linden's Men of Flanders ~

Many hand shire dray, snorts linden chill,
Firing twin spirals & swirls mist high.
The tremble & thunder as barrels fall.
Echoes to nightmares of the foreign foe,
The pond, where no man can land,
Or deep crater where the mine blown.
A soldier feels the bandage of valour,
And his head shakes, blurring vision,
Another bound to a chair, marches there.
A whistle sounds out the morning mess,
They cannot fight or retreat no more,
The Flanders soldiers cannot cry in fear.
Linden Edward Hall nurse, can not see,
She knows not where mined trenches be.

This is something that comes from another discipline called Pathological Science. It is something that I have adapted to help think through situations, it is not bullet proof but I have found it helpful as I have a scientific education.:-

"One way confusion can enter a scientist's thinking involves disruption of the natural conceptual progression through four categories of ideas, ranked in decreasing order of surprisal. For convenience, we can refer to these as the paradigm's four Ps:


•The possible comprises all ideas that do not violate the most basic and global principles of science (e.g., the second law of thermodynamics; fundamental conservation laws).


•The plausible describes ideas that are clearly possible and would be tenable if we could envision circumstances under which they could be tested. (In the case of "polywater" or polymerized H2O molecules, discussed in more detail below, there was no a priori reason why a chemical reaction yielding such a substance could not occur and move downhill in potential energy, as any reaction must; the idea was implausible but not impossible.)


•The probable describes "normal science" as Kuhn used the term: incremental explorations that apply a paradigm and may extend its scope but do not threaten to overturn it. Science regularly makes orderly incursions into the realm of the unknown, expanding what is known without raising an eyebrow over the probability of the results.


•The proven applies to unsurprising exercises in puzzle-solving, te routine application of known principles, working firmly within a stable paradigm. Much of scientific education takes place here, though student work is fully capable of venturing into the other areas.


"The borders separating these ideas--particularly the line between the first two--are not as clear in practice as in theory, especially when a result is of interest to two or more distinct specialties. A high-surprisal hypothesis may appear impossible from one vantage point, while a different field's paradigm makes it clear that the hypothesis is well within the realm of the possible and merely stretches the limits of plausibility or probability. But only after an idea has run the scientific community's gauntlet--surviving rigorous experimental and interpretive efforts to falsify it--can it be said to move from questions of possibility to a probable or proven status. Pathological science occurs when an investigator cuts this process short, prematurely trading in scrutiny for advocacy.

http://www.bullyonline.org/

This site which was created by the late Tim Field the author of a book called 'Bully In Sight' the seminal work has a great deal of valuable information on PTSD and the behaviours of serial bullies.

There is also a forum of the same name of which I am a participant.

It is a wealth of information and probably the most extensive on the subject.

I am going to the memorial lecture on 'recovery' in November and meeting up with old friends. I am apparently a 'prop' for the guest speaker who I helped in his whistle blowing case and through his cPTSD.

I have found soft toys can be helpful, sounds crazy but they can be very helpful. My own therapist recounted a story how a soft toy helped in a emergency. So hang on to them!!!

Hello everyone,

I am a chronic case sadly (14 years) and to know how to make a brief intro is going to be hard but here goes.

I originally very reluctantly acquired c-PTSD in the workplace in 2000 and then spent five years fighting a very complicated employment case. I also became an advocate and became part of the anti bullying / whisleblowing support system for many others. This has sadly increased the number of triggers that have had a debilitating impact as I see the legal system as harmful.

My main specialism is investigating these behaviours and these are also my triggers. I have an eating disorder and my social anxiety makes life awkward. My recent situation has found me being abused by a local person who has turned out to maybe suffering from NPD traits or BPD. Sadly it has trapped me as the daughter who may be also a victim I cannot help and now is causing me difficulties. I take no medication as I find my cognitive reasoning is impaired by such medication and I can ignore the anxiety on most occasions but in this case where my hyper-vigilance may also be a trigger for her it has been difficult to handle.