Getting ready to start pre-verbal EMDR...as I have no traumatic/triggering memories to desensitize with typical EMDR. Dissociative amnesia has blocked all feelings attached to my past. Therapist was asking for a 1-10 on the S.U.D.S. and I'm like...maybe a "1" if I really try... so, I'm wondering if anyone else has tried pre-verbal (felt sense) EMDR...and what are your feelings on it...
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#2
AV - Avoidance / my form of dissociation
December 09, 2020, 04:49:46 PM
Here's my question...my form of dissociation:
Hundreds of times a day (not exaggerating) I can be in the middle of a conversation, or driving, or watching tv...etc. and my consciousness will "split" . If we're having a conversation, I break eye contact, and when I "come back" if I notice that your facial expression hasn't changed, my mind will bridge the gap, and fill in what I believe happened...I'm almost always able to keep the conversation going (I own a tourist store in La Conner) it sucks watching TV, because on the episode recap, it never seems to be what I remember...it's not "just daydreaming"...also, I've recently learned how to dissociate in cases of extreme dysregulation, to not "lose it" with the person that inadvertently triggered me, so, as I feel the dysregulation coming on, I "split" and keep a calm self carrying on the conversation, while my other self slows my breathing down to, hopefully, 6 breaths per minute and concentrate on slowing/stopping the "hamster wheel" in my gut...
The dissociation isn't negatively impacting my life, in so much as I've been able to adapt to it, but we were wondering if you had any insight...when I "split" my therapist says my vision goes up and to the right...which is supposed to be a sign of hyper focus...
Anybody else experience this in this way
Hundreds of times a day (not exaggerating) I can be in the middle of a conversation, or driving, or watching tv...etc. and my consciousness will "split" . If we're having a conversation, I break eye contact, and when I "come back" if I notice that your facial expression hasn't changed, my mind will bridge the gap, and fill in what I believe happened...I'm almost always able to keep the conversation going (I own a tourist store in La Conner) it sucks watching TV, because on the episode recap, it never seems to be what I remember...it's not "just daydreaming"...also, I've recently learned how to dissociate in cases of extreme dysregulation, to not "lose it" with the person that inadvertently triggered me, so, as I feel the dysregulation coming on, I "split" and keep a calm self carrying on the conversation, while my other self slows my breathing down to, hopefully, 6 breaths per minute and concentrate on slowing/stopping the "hamster wheel" in my gut...
The dissociation isn't negatively impacting my life, in so much as I've been able to adapt to it, but we were wondering if you had any insight...when I "split" my therapist says my vision goes up and to the right...which is supposed to be a sign of hyper focus...
Anybody else experience this in this way
#3
Sleep Issues / Trauma the underlying factor for APNEA and Insomnia...(for the most part)
June 25, 2020, 09:53:15 PM
I have chronic insomnia and obstructive sleep apnea...(and before we start, yes, I'm about 30 lbs. overweight, but had it before I gained weight) I take Ambien or Lunesta for about a week at a time, before I start building a tolerance, and have to wean myself off of one, while taking the other (to avoid rebound insomnia) I only sleep as long as the medication keeps me asleep...I take medication every night at 9:00 and get in bed and read until medication kicks in. I sleep, usually, till about 1:30 or 2:00 when the medication gas reached it's "half-life" then I take another dose to carry me through till 5:00 or 5:30...I'm leery of CBD, because I'm a clean poly drug addict (clean 20 years) , I can't take melatonin (even though it works real well) because it exacerbates Restless Leg Syndrome...but with a CPAP and a full face mask, I manage to bring 15 apneas per hour down to 0.8 per hour. Average person has 1.1 per hour. They don't know why... but trauma is a common denominator in close to 2/3 of apnea sufferers...I'm sure insomnia is much higher. (click on both links...they work...one about trauma and insomnia...the other apnea and trauma)
.https://www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/connection-between-ptsd-and-sleep-apnea
https://www.brainline.org/article/ptsd-and-sleep-problems-double-whammy#:~:text=PTSD%20seems%20to%20disrupt%20sleep,staying%20asleep%E2%80%94and%20daytime%20fatigue.
.https://www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/connection-between-ptsd-and-sleep-apnea
https://www.brainline.org/article/ptsd-and-sleep-problems-double-whammy#:~:text=PTSD%20seems%20to%20disrupt%20sleep,staying%20asleep%E2%80%94and%20daytime%20fatigue.
#4
SOT - Sense of Threat / Hyper-vigilance spinning out of control
June 11, 2020, 10:04:04 PM
So...about a month ago my hypervigilance was spinning out of control...the "hamster wheel" in my gut was spinning like it was turbo charged. I was almost hyperventilating 24 hours a day. I couldn't get it to stop with any somatic work. My doctor has been using lasers on my Achilles tendons for tendinitis...and it seems to help. So, I come into his office with my hypervigilance spinning out of control, and he says he's got a new laser treatment to try on me. He used it on my Vagus Nerve at the base of my breast bone for 3 minutes, and then at the base of my skull for 3 minutes. Then, as I was driving home, through farm roads all by myself in a quiet car, I noticed that the hamster wheel had stopped. The single most miraculous medical treatment I've ever experienced in my 58 years on this planet. Here's pictures of the unit. It has a PTSD setting. It should not be that hard to find a laser therapist where you are...I'm pretty remote. (I drive over an hour to see my therapist) I'm now trying to find the underlying reason for the hypervigilance...
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