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I started a work book Seeking Safety with my therapist, on advice of my Shrink. I was not prepared for the sadness.  I'm a 40 year old white male and I dont think Ive ever cried so much in my life. We are trying to do the first section and I have to stop it, it has been 3 freeken weeks!!! lol My wife teases me non stop (in a fun way).
My alert ness is way up as well. I see her everywhere. and Dreams sooooo many dreams.

Everything I build for the last 30 years is coming down and it's scary as ...(well you know)

Thanks for listening.

Hi I'm a 41 year old male.
I was abused as a child by my mother. I had turned my back on her 20 years ago, but I have a son now and I guess my love for him broke my brain. My life fell apart about a year and a half ago. I got really depressed (to the point of suicidal thoughts). They were not new but shaking them this time was almost impossible. My anxiety attacks made it impossible to be reliable, so I stopped working and stayed in my room basically for almost 8 months. I started therapy with the help of my lovely wife. It has helped a little. I find the meds hardly change anything.

My therapist is working to get in to see a shrink. I hope that will help some more.
I found you guys after a year of reading as much as I could (insomnia is good for something haha)

Its hard for me to imagine that there are others out there who hurt the same as I do.
But this site has spoken to me like nothing I have ever been exposed to.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post

Mius