Hello all,
I'm so glad to have found this place. I'm new here and not sure this is the right post for this section. But here it goes.
I'm grappling with a flashback and new information about my childhood that I honestly never wanted to know about myself. It's awful and confusing and I feel all icky inside, again. I had this happen 10 years ago, although then I experienced only EF's. They were worse than this time around, thankfully. But after nearly a decade of peace, I wonder why this has to happen again.
Before I was NC with my mom for 3 years. I have a very limited relationship with her now. She does all the talking in our weekly phone conversations and I share very little about myself. I'm not sure how she is connected to the abuse I experienced. But I know on some level she is responsible. I feel I need to go NC again otherwise I will be triggered by our weekly conversations. I'm not sure how to do this in a mature way, without cutting her off, no explanation. I do not want her to know about the abuse I experienced. She's old and pretty lonely. Even though it was all messed up, I don't think she deserves more suffering. But I have to protect my mental health.
Anyway, I'm sure many of you can relate. I'm trying very hard to not ask for advice, which I know you cannot give. Thanks for reading anyway.
I'm so glad to have found this place. I'm new here and not sure this is the right post for this section. But here it goes.
I'm grappling with a flashback and new information about my childhood that I honestly never wanted to know about myself. It's awful and confusing and I feel all icky inside, again. I had this happen 10 years ago, although then I experienced only EF's. They were worse than this time around, thankfully. But after nearly a decade of peace, I wonder why this has to happen again.
Before I was NC with my mom for 3 years. I have a very limited relationship with her now. She does all the talking in our weekly phone conversations and I share very little about myself. I'm not sure how she is connected to the abuse I experienced. But I know on some level she is responsible. I feel I need to go NC again otherwise I will be triggered by our weekly conversations. I'm not sure how to do this in a mature way, without cutting her off, no explanation. I do not want her to know about the abuse I experienced. She's old and pretty lonely. Even though it was all messed up, I don't think she deserves more suffering. But I have to protect my mental health.
Anyway, I'm sure many of you can relate. I'm trying very hard to not ask for advice, which I know you cannot give. Thanks for reading anyway.