I have not been here for a while but I know this is the one place I can safely express my feeling and pain and will be understood. For the last few days I have been very upset and angry and a little afraid.
I have been NC with my mother for 2 years as I could no longer live with her refusal to acknowledge /show remorse for the abuse that I and my younger sister suffered through out our childhood.
Years of VLC turned to NC I sort of faded away ..I don't think I owe her any explanation but I told my sister (she is VLC with my mother)
occasionally my mother would send a friend request on facebook which I ignored & send birthday & Xmas cards asking me to ring her. I threw them in the bin. IF I wanted to speak to her I would have already !
Two days ago my father rang me ( they have been divorced since I was about 4) as she had been in touch with him saying she was worried about me, he had no idea I was NC with her & he gave her my mobile number. She then began calling & calling (I have my phone on silent) & leaving voice mails (I haven't listened to them) & I started to feel harrassed & didn't want to look at my phone etc.
Then it got much worse two policeman appeared at my home 'to check that I was ok'. She had told them she hadn't heard from me for a few weeks! I explained that it was actually 2 years and that I did not want to speak with her so ignored her messages etc. They kept asking me if I was ok and if I needed any help . And if there was anyone under 18 at the property and asked the name of my doctors surgery 'as my story didn't match hers'
I was just with having a normal quiet evening with my partner and they made us both feel as though they thought I was suffering domestic abuse or something ( although they didn't actually say it but the undertones were there). Understandably my partner was pretty upset by all of this when they left.
I understand that they have to check these things out but I hate that my partner was so hurt by this and I feel responsible ...but know that I am not and I wish she would just get the message and leave us alone.
My partner thinks I should contact her to tell her I don't want contact but even though I am angry and can't believe she did this, I am not prepared to open that door even a crack it has to remain shut, locked & sealed for my own sanity.
My biggest fear is that she will just turn up on the doorstep one day. I am really not sure I could handle that. I haven't seen her for 14 years & have managed to keep my partner from ever meeting her too & I want it to stay that way.
I have been NC with my mother for 2 years as I could no longer live with her refusal to acknowledge /show remorse for the abuse that I and my younger sister suffered through out our childhood.
Years of VLC turned to NC I sort of faded away ..I don't think I owe her any explanation but I told my sister (she is VLC with my mother)
occasionally my mother would send a friend request on facebook which I ignored & send birthday & Xmas cards asking me to ring her. I threw them in the bin. IF I wanted to speak to her I would have already !
Two days ago my father rang me ( they have been divorced since I was about 4) as she had been in touch with him saying she was worried about me, he had no idea I was NC with her & he gave her my mobile number. She then began calling & calling (I have my phone on silent) & leaving voice mails (I haven't listened to them) & I started to feel harrassed & didn't want to look at my phone etc.
Then it got much worse two policeman appeared at my home 'to check that I was ok'. She had told them she hadn't heard from me for a few weeks! I explained that it was actually 2 years and that I did not want to speak with her so ignored her messages etc. They kept asking me if I was ok and if I needed any help . And if there was anyone under 18 at the property and asked the name of my doctors surgery 'as my story didn't match hers'
I was just with having a normal quiet evening with my partner and they made us both feel as though they thought I was suffering domestic abuse or something ( although they didn't actually say it but the undertones were there). Understandably my partner was pretty upset by all of this when they left.
I understand that they have to check these things out but I hate that my partner was so hurt by this and I feel responsible ...but know that I am not and I wish she would just get the message and leave us alone.
My partner thinks I should contact her to tell her I don't want contact but even though I am angry and can't believe she did this, I am not prepared to open that door even a crack it has to remain shut, locked & sealed for my own sanity.
My biggest fear is that she will just turn up on the doorstep one day. I am really not sure I could handle that. I haven't seen her for 14 years & have managed to keep my partner from ever meeting her too & I want it to stay that way.
