Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - marycontrary

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 13
1
OMG!!! So sorry honey. I hope you make a speedy recovery.  :hug:

2
Thank you guys for the kind words. I learned to set boundaries when during a life threatening crisis, I realized that relying on my family would get me more damaged or even killed. It came down to that fact that I wanted a life worth living. It was worthless, I was suicidal, very much in despair. I am also a scientist and I  knew that reading Al Turtle. Ross Rosenberg, Pete Walker, etc, etc...that I had to do it or life would not be worth living.

3
Ohhhh...I was such a good stuffer.....then exploder! See, only crazy woman express anger...LOL!

I find that getting huge amount of exercise, eating a diet very low in processed food, and not hanging around dicks to be wonderful for managing mood swings.

Everybody here!!!! Listen!!! You don't have to prove anything to anybody! A safe person will see your beauty right away. I used to also try to "convince" others that I was a decent human....NO MORE! If you are having to convince someone that you are worthy, you are dealling with a PD. Just develop that habit of saying Farck it!

I have gotten rid of so many mangy characters this way.

4
Here is mine...

You guys are dumber than a bucket of hair. Your loss. BYE!  :party:

5
veryfoggy, you bring up such a GOOD topic! This is what I have found...the MORE I adhere to my boundaries, the less need I have to have an outlet for my lit fuse. I have no problem walking out on PD behavior now. I have no problem with asserting. Because I have practiced detachment to outcome, I don't have issues with abandonment if the dickhead terminates the relationship anymore.

One of my big boundaries is not dealing with people who have poor empathy skills. These numbskulls cannot BS me anymore. I just walk out and cut dysfunctional behavior off ASAP. If the person cares, they will try to clear up misunderstanding, but if not the person runs with shame like a little baby. I don't care. Pay to play. Gotta show me you are not dysfunctional before you get my time of day.

I am absolutely a different person. I don't even recognize my old self. 

6
Wow, all of you guys really have a beautiful gift of gab on this topic. I can now tell when I get angry...a welling up pit in the stomach feeling. I have succeeded pretty good in identifying this and heading it off at the pass. I used to be a very, very angry person. Pissed off all of the time.

But I realized that the anger was just a cover for hurt. So I because I can control my anger better, I do not hurt as much, and my recovery goes faster.

7
Good job! This is exactly what you need to recover....

8
Good Job ladies!!!

 :bighug:

9
So sorry about this terrible loss AG.

i think that the improvement that started 2 months ago is really getting stable. My focus and memory are so much better. I think I hit a milestone in the last 2 weeks or so---the EF have lessened to such an extent that I hardly think of my perpetrators. I think I am really starting to heal and integrate.

C. that was just wonderful. I do the same thing. I am a pretty good mother to myself.

10
In a bizarre way, I am sorta...kinda...thankful???!! They drove me to being damn near a Buddhist monk...minus the celibate part. Seriously, I am deep in to detachment of a lot of worldly, meaningless *. I do not watch TV, play video games, see movies. Barely do facebook. Do no follow trends or fashions. Am not aware of status or castes systems. have very few possessions. No credit card for 20 years.I am very much detach to worldly outcomes. If I had had a stable upbringing, I might be a lot shallower and more materialistic.


11
C., you precious thing, you literally took the words out of my mouth. Thanks! Here is your evil twin's take...

Me: You guys are a bunch of stupid jackasses for treating your awesome daughter/wife/ sister in a way that drove me completely away. It sucks to be you. You lost a very loyal, giving, and loving woman. However, I don't put up with this * now, and life is so wonderful. It is like a fairy tale. Sorry you are not a part of it, you epic bags of dicks...

Sorry for the curse words...please edit if necessary.  ;D

12
I luv you guyz to BITS!!!! Thank you so much!

13
Christ, what DIDN'T they (my perpetrators) do????

14
This is a really good video on forgiveness by Ross Rosenberg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6pROjCwsE0


I think the important thing is not forgiveness, but whether it is eating you up on the inside. The big, big thing is to control stress and to eventually make your perpetrators a non entity in your existence. Forgiveness is such a dodgy word with multiple interpretations. The key is to be in a place where they are not even in your mind, as your life has grown enough to push them out



15
SC thanks for the wonderful thread. That is a really good list you have started there.

Here are some of mine (I also do your list too)

Hard core meditation and time alone.
Painting
Long, long walking (now up to 6-12 miles at one time)
Practicing listening to people very closely...very good for staying "grounded"



Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 13