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Messages - 89abc123

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General Discussion / Re: Highly Sensitive People...Opinions?? TW
« on: February 11, 2018, 12:27:22 PM »
Hi Libby,

I can definitely relate to being shamed for behaving a certain way in childhood. My mother seemed to see any kind of fun or silliness as bad behaviour or being naughty.

Itís definitely an interesting topic.

Just out of interest, has anyone thatís labeling themselves as HSP ever been tested for the gene?

Iíd be interested to see where the statistics are coming from...saying 20% of the population are HSP.

How many people were in the study and what is the name of the gene that contributes? One article said that certain areas of the brain react what area of the brain is that exactly?

Iím still leaning towards nurture over nature. Iíd love for them to do a further study seeing if there is a connection between this so called gene and the way people were treated as infants. Eg. I know that I had a jealous sibling that would complain and cry when I was held, there was a lot of yelling and screaming and parents throwing furniture at each other and I know my mother has never been very attuned to her kids. I was also not socialised until I was 5 years old because my mum thought Iíd be in an accident if I was left with other people. Iíd be interested to see if all this contributed to a hyper vigilant state, but that would be a difficult study because no one remembers infancy.

General Discussion / Re: Highly Sensitive People...Opinions?? TW
« on: February 10, 2018, 03:00:08 AM »
Thank you for your reply Vanilla! Very informative!

I think my frustration is that I get labelled as a HSP by other people, but I donít identify with the over sensitivity to smells, noises, crowds, etc. I donít have problems with these things, I donít get overwhelmed with emotion from standing in a noisy shopping centre.

I find myself more emotionally reactive because of my trauma but I keep getting told Iím an empath and that I feel other peopleís pain and things effect me more than they effect other people.

Itís other people putting this label on me and I think itís unfair because they are trying to force me to Ďaccept myself as I amí instead of letting me try and heal and grow.

Just getting frustrated and triggered by the HSP label.

General Discussion / Highly Sensitive People...Opinions?? TW
« on: February 10, 2018, 02:03:40 AM »
I wanted to bring up this topic to see othersí points of view on it.

Highly Sensitive People

Is it nature or nurture? I feel like the traits of HSPs overlap with trauma and anxiety disorders. So how to we know the difference??

I find the idea of being one of 20% of the population that inherited a sensitivity gene insanely triggering. I mean, doesnít that take the power away from recovery if people say Ďoh you inherited a gene that makes you quiet, shy, have performance anxiety, have difficulty in relationships and it makes people want to bully you and you just have to take extra special care of yourself and hide away and take naps and warm baths every time you feel overwhelmed. You will never be like normal people you just have to accept ití.

Doesnít that just invalidate the trauma weíve been through? Itís hard to sit with when people say that I reacted stronger to my abuse than other people would. Really??

You might as well tell me that iím Autistic or have some other special mental disability because I see it in the same vain.

I find the whole idea of HSP to be incredibly disempowering and puts me back into a hopeless state.

The other idea I wanted to bring up is every childhood emotional abuse survivor seems to label themselves as HSP. Would that not be narcissistic victim syndrome being mislabeled as a genetic trait?

Are we using HSP as an excuse to stay comfortable instead of pushing ourselves into healing

What are your thoughts?

Having an Exceptionally Difficult Day / Struggling
« on: February 03, 2018, 04:13:39 PM »
Today is just one of those hopeless days where I feel like Iíll never recover.

Therapy / Re: schema therapy
« on: January 21, 2018, 12:06:49 PM »
Yes!! Iíve done schema. Iím actually still doing it.

Being vulnerable is difficult, but essential. I have been doing schema therapy now for 2 years. I couldnít imagine my life without it.

Itís a long term commitment but sooooo so worth it.

My advice to you is to not jump around trying the find the Ďrightí therapy like I did. If you stick to schema and do exactly as your therapist says you will be so much better off.

Itís extremely difficult but oh my god itís wonderful as well.

Good luck, all the best!!

General Discussion / First time spending Christmas alone
« on: December 03, 2017, 02:00:10 PM »
So this year I'll be spending Christmas alone. I finally managed to go no contact with the narc brother earlier this year, so of course that means not going to my parents house this year to do the usual family obligations.

I'm 28yo and single, with few friends. just wondering if anyone has any ideas on how I can spend my day?

i don't want to pretend I'm not going to be miserable, I just want to try and lessen the blow so to speak.

Hi dee I also feel guilty and I start to question whether or not I'm in the wrong.

Slim, it's so frustrating!

I'm currently doing emdr, but you need to identify the core belief before I can process it. It's one symptom I can't clearly link to a root cause. I'm stumped as to where it comes from.

I'm leaning towards punishment for voicing an opinion but I don't know what the core belief is exactly.

Does anyone else have the problem of crying when trying to set boundaries with people. I come off looking weak and like a joke.

People don't respect what I say it just reinforces that I'm crazy and weird

Any idea what this response is linked to?? Or how to go about fixing it?

General Discussion / Re: Anger over diagnosis
« on: September 15, 2017, 06:42:59 AM »
I'm sorry but I completely disagree with the above post.

To the original poster I really recommend schema therapy. It is helping me with the problems I've developed in my personality due to cptsd. That and dbt for emotional regulation. I've also had neurofeedback which has helped in other ways for things like concentration, focus and energy.

I think to say that only the depression or anxiety needs treatment and once you have those under control you will be 'thriving' is not good advice. IMO and experience depression recurs if you don't treat the parts of the personality that need attention eg. Codependent behaviours, drug abuse, fear of intimacy, social anxiety etc.

Sorry to be blunt but I think it's important to accept the work that needs to be put in. Is there hope? Absolutely. Neuroplasticity is being proven more and more. I believe it's better to work with a therapist to come up with a treatment plan.

Therapy / Re: Emdr making me worse
« on: July 27, 2017, 11:39:25 AM »
Thanks for all the replies on this...

I haven't had a chance to see my therapist again so I'm still dealing with increased anxiety, I'm on the verge of tears most days, I can't concentrate. I'm having a really hard time.

Judging by the replies this isn't normal, so I'm not sure what I should do here. I'm worried I'll get 'stuck' like this if I don't continue the therapy??

Symptoms - Other / Re: Adrenaline Addiction
« on: July 23, 2017, 01:35:42 PM »
I can DEFINITELY relate.

The only way I can understand it is this...

I'm also a freeze type. I constantly  think/daydream to the point where my brain literally never ever shuts off. Ever.

The only thing that is powerful enough to get me outside of my own head is an adrenaline rush. In my younger party animal days this was getting drunk and taking amphetamines. After a serious DUI where I wrote off 2 vehicles and after some serious therapy work I no longer rely on these things and have found it's not the rush I'm really trying to achieve, it's getting outside of my own head that is the goal of these risky behaviours (and I guess getting away from feeling negative emotions)

A great way I found to solve this problem is weight training in the gym with a personal trainer. I'm fully engaged with him for the whole session and when I go by myself, counting the reps of my excersises is a form of mindfulness. I can't think when I'm counting. Another great one is indoor rock climbing.

I'm a female as well by the way, so as you can imagine the drinking and doing drugs was extremely unattractive, and the gym is a lot healthier and I go into less shame spirals because I'm not embarrassing myself constantly.

Therapy / Re: Emdr making me worse
« on: July 22, 2017, 03:23:27 PM »
Interesting read vanilla,

I have heard so many amazing things about emdr, but I guess it's one of those things that works for some and not others. It's concerning to me that you kept getting worse, I hope I don't keep getting worse as well. Surely the therapist would have the common sense to stop if my condition doesn't improve with more sessions. I'd hope so anyway.

I didn't get a chance to read the highlighted section because it wouldn't work on my phone. But I do agree that getting in touch with feelings like Bessel van der kolk suggests is key. Spartan life coach has also gone down that road and released an emotional literacy course. I'd love to hear a review of it if anyone has done it. His discipline course was incredibly powerful for me.

I'm not sure, I will stick with the emdr though for now until I discuss further with my therapist.

Therapy / Re: Emdr making me worse
« on: July 22, 2017, 02:28:05 PM »
Eyessoblue wow our situations sound exactly the same!

Are you also getting random tension headaches, for a few seconds at a time throughout the day? Not sure if that is connected.

Sooooo. What wine do you drink  ;D just joking.

I guess we just wait it out from here?

Therapy / Re: Emdr making me worse
« on: July 22, 2017, 01:36:25 PM »
Just wondering if it's linked to self sabotage.

Is my brain resisting emdr?

Therapy / Emdr making me worse
« on: July 22, 2017, 01:18:45 PM »
I've just started emdr with a therapist and I have gotten significantly worse since.

I have had 3 sessions now and I've resorted back to old habits of over eating and drinking alcohol.

My anxiety is sky high and I feel like I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. I spend most my days at work on the verge of tears.

The therapist said its normal for a while after but not too long. It's been over 3 weeks now.

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