Hi New to this forum and site and so thankful to be here! 
I was professionally diagnosed a few years back with CPTSD but I ironically I overlooked it because it came with a lot of other notes in the column at the time of my hospitalization.. I remember borderline with a huge ?(and after dating a BPD I definitely can self relate that I am not lol) and of course was suffering from major depression.. I wish I had really been pointed in the way of understanding CPSTD , it could of saved me some even more years of nasty self criticism! I took mental health in as not being 'strong' enough, was constantly told in my life that I was and am "too sensitive" and yet I always was so hard on myself when all I had to do was just look at the family history, the traumatic events and emotional- physical- sexual abuse that I had suffered in my life to really step back and realize I did the best I could do and that because of these events.. many of them or maybe all of them of which I had no control over ...that I would unfortunately and inevitably develop symptoms. I am becoming more aware of the self critic.. I know where she comes from now- who's voices she's using now and id like to desperately help her.. but I am also learning to be gently aware at first that she's there.. that it doesn't mean I hate myself, and that I can observe her for now in response to how I run my life. I am a chronic people pleaser .. I have constantly put others needs before my own. I also ask very little in return, I feel very strange receiving things or treating myself to nice life situations.. I am learning.. I just moved into a way nicer rental than my previous place (outhouse and 320 sq feet lol !) and it was interesting to watch my inner voice almost feel undeserving and guilty of a basic but good place to call home. anyways, glad to be here !
I was professionally diagnosed a few years back with CPTSD but I ironically I overlooked it because it came with a lot of other notes in the column at the time of my hospitalization.. I remember borderline with a huge ?(and after dating a BPD I definitely can self relate that I am not lol) and of course was suffering from major depression.. I wish I had really been pointed in the way of understanding CPSTD , it could of saved me some even more years of nasty self criticism! I took mental health in as not being 'strong' enough, was constantly told in my life that I was and am "too sensitive" and yet I always was so hard on myself when all I had to do was just look at the family history, the traumatic events and emotional- physical- sexual abuse that I had suffered in my life to really step back and realize I did the best I could do and that because of these events.. many of them or maybe all of them of which I had no control over ...that I would unfortunately and inevitably develop symptoms. I am becoming more aware of the self critic.. I know where she comes from now- who's voices she's using now and id like to desperately help her.. but I am also learning to be gently aware at first that she's there.. that it doesn't mean I hate myself, and that I can observe her for now in response to how I run my life. I am a chronic people pleaser .. I have constantly put others needs before my own. I also ask very little in return, I feel very strange receiving things or treating myself to nice life situations.. I am learning.. I just moved into a way nicer rental than my previous place (outhouse and 320 sq feet lol !) and it was interesting to watch my inner voice almost feel undeserving and guilty of a basic but good place to call home. anyways, glad to be here !