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Messages - Saule

#1
Therapy / Re: Attachment Therapy
February 13, 2017, 11:40:20 PM
There's definitely a recognition of early attachment injuries in the work I'm doing with my therapist, and a focus on recognising, understanding and repairing those injuries. A number of therapeutic modalities are used to do this, but attachment issues are an overarching theme. My therapist is also a clinical family therapist, so I think an understanding of attachment is part and parcel for someone with that background and training.
#2
Therapy / Re: What kind of therapy for adult survivors?
February 13, 2017, 11:34:06 PM
Quote from: solongStockholm on February 13, 2017, 06:48:25 PM
I see an art/talk therapist who uses mindfulness and comes from an attachment based perspective. After 15 years of "talk therapy" this approach is the only one that's gotten me anywhere. I suggest you try it! Look up attachment-based/focused therapy.

I agree, attachment focused therapy can be very powerful. My therapist also includes aspects of attachment-based therapy with the work we do together. Even just the psychoeducation around attachment theory has been really helpful for me in understanding my experiences and behaviour.
#3
Family / Re: Self discovery - Your role in your FOO
February 13, 2017, 11:21:11 PM
I was assigned both the Problem Child and the Scapegoat by my parents, in response I tried to become the Golden Child. So growing up  I was strange mix of all three.
#4
Therapy / Re: Can't cry in therapy
February 13, 2017, 11:14:44 AM
What everyone has said here resonates with me so much. I struggle to cry in therapy, too, even though I want to so badly. I get the 'waves' then that emotional shut down. I have at times been able to cry silently. Tears just well up and pour down my face, but I don't make a sound, and I'm able to keep on talking like nothing is wrong. It's like the tears are independent of my feelings.

Crying meant a higher chance of emotional and physical violence when I was growing up, so eventually I learned not to cry. I'm sure that's why I have trouble with it.

I have been able to cry more outside of therapy though, which is an improvement. Probably about once a month I'll reach tipping point and have a really intense cry.

Quote from: radical on January 19, 2017, 06:12:16 PM
I know what you mean about the 'rigid' or frozen quality, where (for me) simulations replace smiles, and all emotion seems at a distance.  I've come to see it as a kind of 'locked-in' syndrome.

Weirdly, it has led people to thinking I'm really well when I'm at my worst, complimenting me on how well I am, and conversely, worrying when I get unfrozen, even though I feel a thousand times better.

I get this too. Even seasoned therapists have difficulty working me out. My current therapist understands now, and so always makes a point of asking what's happening inside, even if I look like I'm fine.

#5
I've been taking yoga classes with a teacher who has done training in JRI's trauma center trauma-sensitive yoga. It is amazing.
#6
New Members / Re: what's in a name?
February 13, 2017, 10:32:57 AM
Saule is the Lithuanian and Latvian goddess of the sun. It also means 'willow' in French. Goddess names always give me a feeling of strength, so I often use them as usernames. And willow trees seem rather resilient, bending but not breaking.
#7
Therapy / Re: What kind of therapy for adult survivors?
February 13, 2017, 10:19:23 AM
It's difficult to know who to choose, hey? I lucked out with my current therapist, who I found on an EMDR practitioner database. She takes a very individualised, eclectic approach, and has basically specialised in trauma her entire career. So in addition to EMDR, she also uses Ego State Therapy (similar to Internal Family Systems), somatic experiencing, mindfullness, Havening, plus other bits and pieces I'm not sure of exactly.

Different therapeutic approaches will work for different people, and not all therapists practicing these methods will be a great fit just because they use a particular type of therapy.

As mentioned earlier, I really think Bessel Van der Kolk has some great things to say in his book. I do a lot of the stuff he talks about, either in therapy or outside (trauma senstitive yoga and resonant breathing to improve heart rate variability).

I wish you all the best in finding the right therapist and therapies for you. :)
#8
General Discussion / Re: Recovery and exhaustion
February 13, 2017, 10:04:36 AM
It's definitely a thing! The more intense work I do with my therapist, the more exhausted I am. I often come home after a therapy session and sleep for 2 hours. This work uses up a lot of energy. Our nervous systems are working way harder than the average person and that takes its toll on the body!
#9
Yes, I had a go reading Pete Walker's book, and found that I don't favour any of the 4 types over the other. I see all of them in myself to varying degrees. I must admit I struggled to read the book for some reason, though I'm sure there's lots of helpful information in it.
#10
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hello
February 13, 2017, 09:54:43 AM
Welcome!  :)
#11
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hey All...
February 13, 2017, 09:52:55 AM
Welcome to OOTS, Lillith.  :)
#12
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hello
February 13, 2017, 08:57:58 AM
Welcome, Blueberry! I'm so glad you found us. :)
#13
General Discussion / Re: Sand Tray Therapy?
December 17, 2016, 09:59:14 AM
I did something similar to this with my therapist once. No sand involved, but she got me to pick a whole lot of different objects/figurines to represent different people in my life, and then place them on a big piece of paper with emanating circles on it. The 'me' figurine was in the centre of the circle, and I put the other figurines at different places depending on where I saw them in my life. Then I moved them to where I wanted them to be rather than where they currently were. It was a really helpful way to talk about my family and friends and my relationships with them, and things I'd like to change. I remember at the time I was having particular trouble not dissociating during therapy, and this approach was really non-threatening and meant I was able to stay present for the entire session.
#14
He sounds amazing!! Animals are the best.  :)
#15
Self-Help & Recovery / Re: EMDR Therapy
December 05, 2016, 05:28:45 AM
How exciting! I know not everyone has had positive experiences with EMDR, but mine have been really good. I think if you have the right T with training/experience using EMDR with CPTSD/dissociative clients then the chances are it could be really helpful. :) Is there any way to know who you will be referred to or the background/training of the EMDR therapists registered with the NHS? That might give you some insight into their level of experience working with complex trauma and dissociation. I'm in Australia so totally different system (little to no funding for mental health care) so I'm sorry if my suggestion is totally impossible! Either way, I hope you find EMDR helpful.  :)