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Messages - Kizzie

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Playing games on my iPhone with my son, also sending cute/funny pics & videos of foxes back & forth - latest - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GegN_AXWWqc&feature=youtu.be   ;D

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6. I love you.

7. I'm here for you.

8. What can I do to help you?

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For those of you who developed CPTSD/RTR due to a parent or someone else with NPD, there's a free online summit "Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse"  on Apr 20th.  See https://avaiya.com/freedom/?ap_id=34905.

There will be 30+ presentations on a wide range of topics relating to N abuse & recovery/healing.  Also, the organizers are offering videos of the presentations for $30 (US) which is a lot lower price than they normally charge.

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For those of you who developed CPTSD/RTR due to a parent or someone else with NPD, there's a free online summit "Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse"  on Apr 20th.  See https://avaiya.com/freedom/?ap_id=34905

There will be 30+ presentations on a wide range of topics relating to N abuse & recovery/healing.  Also, the organizers are offering videos of the presentations for $30 (US) which is a lot lower price than they normally charge.

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2.  I can and will protect you.

3.  Tell me what's scaring you.

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Having an Exceptionally Difficult Day / Re: I am struggling
« on: April 05, 2020, 05:47:20 PM »
So glad you hear you feel a bit better.  Sending you a huge  :bighug:  and a group  :grouphug: - hope they help if even just a little.   

I loved blanket forts (and truth be told I still do and apparently a lot of adults do - https://www.buzzfeed.com/laurenpaul/cuddle-forts-to-hide-from-adulthood).

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Introductory Post / Re: A hello
« on: April 05, 2020, 05:40:45 PM »
Hi BlankPage and a warm welcome to OOTS  :heythere:  There a re a lot of resources and very understanding, supportive people here so hopefully you will find being here helpful.  There are country specific resources here https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=262.0 you might want to take a look through in case there's something in your area that could be helpful. 

One type of resource you might want to look at is self-compassion and anything dealing with the Inner Critic.  We tend to be really hard on ourselves and part of recovery is learning to be kinder,   and how to quiet/deal with our Inner Critic.  Pete Walker has some good articles here http://www.pete-walker.com/ a lot of us found useful. 

 :grouphug:


Note:  I changed your username in TR's post by the way.

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Introductory Post / Re: Hi
« on: April 05, 2020, 05:26:30 PM »
Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Marian  :heythere:  Three Roses has suggested some good resources to have a look at that may help  :thumbup:   There are lots more you'll find as you settle in, explore, make some posts and get some suggestions.   :yes: 

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Introductory Post / Re: Hi..
« on: April 05, 2020, 05:20:27 PM »
Hi Cray, a warm welcome to OOTS  :heythere:  and congrats on 4 months of sobriety  :applause:.

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General / Re: To Kizzie
« on: April 04, 2020, 04:34:04 PM »
You are so welcome  :yes:

I started this because there wasn't much if anything out there for us in 2014 except Pete Walker's book - no web sites or groups I ever found save ones for specific types of abuse versus the root cause - ongoing relational trauma, and the result - Complex PTSD. 

I knew there were probably a lot of us out there but wasn't sure if anyone would find OOTS and join.  Six years later and there have been over 7,500 register and now many others sites/resources for RT survivors thankfully.   :thumbup:   

I'd say we're pretty much 'out of the closet' now  ;D

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General Discussion / Re: If not my parent... who are others?
« on: April 03, 2020, 04:08:35 PM »
In addition to listening, soothing and letting younger me I had power to look after us, etc., one thing I did with her is play because that's what she asked for in a T session way back when. She just said "I want to play" at a time when I/we came face-to-face with knowing clearly I had never had parents and never would and like you're finding, I/she was in so much pain.  It felt a bit silly sometimes, but it also felt good  :sunny:

And making an effort to balance the pain with joy, fun, laughter made a real difference in getting through it all and in her learning to trust me and look to me.  Maybe it's something you could try with younger you - draw, colour, sing, dance, whatever makes her laugh and feel happier. She just doesn't ache for care/comfort/support like she did and so she doesn't pop up in my adult relationships like she used to. My teen still does but I'm working on that  ;D

I just remembered that one way I got 'in touch' with her was to use my non-dominant hand to write to me.  That was at first when I was just trying to hear her though so you might be past this.

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General / Re: To Kizzie
« on: April 03, 2020, 03:44:36 PM »
 ;D   :grouphug:

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General / Re: To Kizzie
« on: April 02, 2020, 05:38:42 PM »
Very kind of you, tks  :hug:

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Announcements / Re: The Coronavirus Pandemic
« on: April 02, 2020, 03:18:25 PM »
And another article - 3 Ways The Coronavirus Pandemic Is Affecting Trauma Survivors and Victims of Narcissists (And How You Can Cope)

....during this pandemic, we have yet to discuss the unique challenges that trauma and abuse survivors may face when they are forced to self-isolate more than they already have and encounter barriers in accessing the support systems they had in place in every facet of their life. Nor have we discussed how the pandemic may be worsening the behavior of those who often terrorize others during particularly vulnerable times as narcissists are prone to doing. Although this is by no means an exhaustive list, here are three ways trauma survivors are being affected, especially if they are survivors of narcissistic individuals, and tips on how to cope.

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Announcements / Re: The Coronavirus Pandemic
« on: April 02, 2020, 02:48:26 PM »
Another good article I read this morning: Agency in a Time of Pandemic.

Recognize your agency

We can better withstand ongoing trauma when we have more resilience and resources. We are more resilient when we perceive ourselves as having agency: the ability to take action.... We support our agency when we own our skills and knowledge. A sense of agency says, I may not know what to do yet, but I will figure it out. 

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