A major symptom of C-PTSD is proneness to self-abandoning tendencies, so I was wondering if anyone's noticed theirs in relation to oral hygiene.
I had decent enough teeth in early childhood, but around age 10, when my parents separated and I first discovered my depression and ASD, my oral hygiene began sliding further and further.
I would brush my teeth less and less often (flossing almost never).
In times like now, where I'm in a major depressive episode, I can only bring myself to brush maybe 2-4 days a week.
The vicious cycle goes something like this.
I know I have to brush my teeth, and I know I'll feel a little better once I do it, but I just can't bring myself to do so.
I still can't place my finger on the exact cause of the aversion, but it's there.
Maybe, maybe, I'll swish with some mouthwash, but I know that's a poor substitute.
I wake up the next day, grime still on my once-pearly whites, and feel shame and self-loathing for not just getting it over with.
Up until a few months ago, I assumed it was just based in "laziness" (or at least that's what my inner critic told me).
Lately, I'm starting to consider that it's a self-abandonment process, based on my dysfunctional household.
My parents would take me to the dentist every 2-4 years, instead of every six months as is standard.
I understand that they had a lot on their plates, but it still feels somewhat neglectful to space it out so long.
Last time I was at the dentist, I got chewed out (no pun intended) for not keeping up on my oral health.
He asked why I haven't been regularly brushing and flossing; I didn't have an answer.
What was I supposed to say? "Sorry, I didn't brush because I don't think I deserve it"?
On the way back, my Dad yelled at me in the car, triggering a heavy emotional flashback.
I don't want to end up with all my teeth rotting or removed, but these nightmare scenarios just make me even more discouraged.
I had decent enough teeth in early childhood, but around age 10, when my parents separated and I first discovered my depression and ASD, my oral hygiene began sliding further and further.
I would brush my teeth less and less often (flossing almost never).
In times like now, where I'm in a major depressive episode, I can only bring myself to brush maybe 2-4 days a week.
The vicious cycle goes something like this.
I know I have to brush my teeth, and I know I'll feel a little better once I do it, but I just can't bring myself to do so.
I still can't place my finger on the exact cause of the aversion, but it's there.
Maybe, maybe, I'll swish with some mouthwash, but I know that's a poor substitute.
I wake up the next day, grime still on my once-pearly whites, and feel shame and self-loathing for not just getting it over with.
Up until a few months ago, I assumed it was just based in "laziness" (or at least that's what my inner critic told me).
Lately, I'm starting to consider that it's a self-abandonment process, based on my dysfunctional household.
My parents would take me to the dentist every 2-4 years, instead of every six months as is standard.
I understand that they had a lot on their plates, but it still feels somewhat neglectful to space it out so long.
Last time I was at the dentist, I got chewed out (no pun intended) for not keeping up on my oral health.
He asked why I haven't been regularly brushing and flossing; I didn't have an answer.
What was I supposed to say? "Sorry, I didn't brush because I don't think I deserve it"?
On the way back, my Dad yelled at me in the car, triggering a heavy emotional flashback.
I don't want to end up with all my teeth rotting or removed, but these nightmare scenarios just make me even more discouraged.