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Messages - globetrotter

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1
Addiction (Perpetrator) / ACoA Laundry List
« on: December 04, 2014, 04:17:12 AM »
I went to ACoA meetings thirty years ago (eek! - 30??!!) and grew a lot then through that and by working with my Adult Children of Alcoholics counselor.
Today, I was poking around for more materials online.
I'm not a big fan of the 12-step program because I have "higher power" issues, however, there is a considerable amount of material that may still be helpful.
I found this booklet on the Laundry List and was validated by reading it. Some steps, I have left in my wake. Others linger.
There are reflective questions throughout the book as well. Note that it is not only for ACoA, but children of dysfunctional families in general.

http://www.adultchildren.org/lit/4x4_content_first_review_v1a.pdf

2
General Discussion / Re: I need therapy just to go to therapy
« on: December 02, 2014, 08:41:24 PM »
I hear you, Laurel. I've seen my T for almost 2 1/2 years and it has been a verrrry sloooow journey. Vulnerability, trust, openness, God forbid - some kind of attachment to her...All scary stuff. You, however, have control. You can decide what you want to talk about, how fast or slow you want to approach your issues, and so on. I am such a resistant client sometimes, I feel bad for her (despite how much I pay her) because she asks me question after question and gets back three or four word responses. Other times, I'll be amped about something that happened and rattle on and on. Perhaps the best thing is to do is, as Butterfly suggested, phone interview and mention that you have a lot of anxiety around the process. See what kind of response or support you get. Then go for one visit. See how it goes. Then, if you're comfortable, try it again. Chunk it down, a visit at a time. You can always go to someone else if it doesn't work out well. I used to blame my T all of the time for the fact that things were going so slowly, then I realized that *I* am the issue, and she's doing her best not to scare me away by flooding me.

Hang in there! It's worth it.

3
Hey, Des -
I used to get email responses from my T (and I don't email her very often) and then she quit responding. I'm one who has a hard time opening up, so I think she prefers to talk 1:1 - she'll bring up my email in our sessions; it gives us a topic to discuss vs. her playing 20 questions.

Also, we have been doing a lot of body work over time and it's helped considerably with reducing my habit of tuning out/dissociating/numbing in my sessions. You can, too - you need a T who can help you with that. Don't give up! It can be done.

4
Therapy / Re: Art as Therapy
« on: December 01, 2014, 01:27:40 AM »
Zazu:
If you google art therapy, there are many sites with prompts.

For myself, I have get the most out of exercises with photos and collage.

One of the first projects I did was with a cigar box that I lined with fur and made a card for each decade of my life that fit perfectly inside of the box. Each card had highlights of who I was at the time and experiences that I went through.
It was a lot of work, and I saw a lot of growth.
I sometimes incorporate writing with the art...I have a hard time getting in touch with my feelings at all...but expressing my SELF artistically - there is no wrong or right, sometimes the act of creating and the focus/escape that it provides, which can be almost meditative, that is the reward.

5
Books & Articles / Re: PTSD Memoirs
« on: November 29, 2014, 07:12:19 PM »
I missed you mentioning David Sedaris. I absolutely love him especially his early work. "Naked" and "Me talk pretty one day".

6
Thanks for this info ...th memories I have are not from anything discussed with anyone..nor are they body-sensed..more visual recall..so many decades old and lacking detail in some cases but still making me wonder.

7
Sandals.
Thank you for posting this.
I am curious about false memories, if you don't mind me asking..
 I have some memories that are real but recently new ones are coming up but they are hazy snippets. Are they real? How DO you know? I've been told that they almost always are. I so understand what you mean as its just another 'event' in the bucket.
I have quite a few feelings of there being "something else " lately. Confusing...

8
Anxiety (eg General, Social, Panic Attacks) / Re: Eye Contact
« on: November 28, 2014, 06:44:08 AM »
That's an interesting question! I look UP or at the wall.
Some of it is for sure SA. I can be very careful at word choosing and formulating my thoughts which are easier without distraction. ..like being looked at ;-)

9
Books & Articles / Re: PTSD Memoirs
« on: November 28, 2014, 06:26:39 AM »
I read Glass Castle. It was a tough read...emotionally.
Let's Pretend..laugh out loud funny. It's healthy to laugh at dysfunction sometimes.
The chapter with the turkeys? Killer!
As an SA member, I'll have to check out the Tricky Part. Thanks for the suggestion.

10
General Discussion / Re: Frozen
« on: November 27, 2014, 12:17:00 AM »
Sometimes.
I go through phases. I am usually a pretty social animal, but there are times when I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone. Sometimes there is an underlying layer of crabbiness, so I think it may be the outer critic rearing its head. Sometimes it's my Social Anxiety.
Is it possible that you have SA or depression? These are two things that can hold people back.
Do you feel this way all of the time, or is it cyclical?

11
Anxiety (eg General, Social, Panic Attacks) / Re: Eye Contact
« on: November 26, 2014, 07:26:42 AM »
Yes that's a self portrait.
I have two cats.
When we have staring contests they usually look away first.
seriously, eye contact issues vary based on the individual,  level of emotional investment,  and an old habit that needs ome focus.

12
Anxiety (eg General, Social, Panic Attacks) / Re: Eye Contact
« on: November 26, 2014, 03:05:51 AM »
Look away!!!!

13
Anxiety (eg General, Social, Panic Attacks) / Re: Eye Contact
« on: November 26, 2014, 02:28:09 AM »
It seems like something that should be simple, doesn't it?
It as another way to avoid connection. Eye contact can also be incredibly intense.

My boss can have a wickedly icy look. I can't look at him when he has that look. I wonder what's lurking behind it.

Sometimes it's interesting to lock eyes with a stranger. Who looks away first?

Fake it til I make it. Yes. Fleeting glimpses. Hello, can you see my fear? Yeeesh.

14
Anxiety (eg General, Social, Panic Attacks) / Eye Contact
« on: November 21, 2014, 08:09:31 AM »
I am not sure if this is a Social Anxiety thing or a CPTSD thing but I need work on my eye contact. I am a great listener and will look folks in the eyes when they are talking, but when it's my turn to talk, I look away. I am not sure what this is about. I don't think it's lack of confidence, but it may be something about not wanting to be "seen". My therapist was pushing me because I can't look at her except for fleeting glimpses, unless of course, it's idle chit chat, then no problem. But if we TALK about eye contact, forget it, it's not happening.

Anyone else have this problem? I guess it doesn't present the best warm and fuzzies when I won't look at someone when I talk. I even do this with my S.O., where I will look away and then come back to a locked gaze. Weird, since this is the person I would trust with my life.

It's a hard habit to break. It takes dedicated focus!

15
Recovery Journals / Re: schrödinger's journal
« on: November 07, 2014, 07:42:54 PM »
Brene Brown!
That is probably my most favorite TED talk, ever.
I have watched it a few times. For so many years I equated "Vulnerability" with weakness, but now I know it is a strength, and a goal.
Slamming down the wall to let others in requires it.

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