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Messages - Jdog

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1
Recovery Journals / Re: JDog's Journal
« on: May 22, 2019, 07:36:57 PM »
3Roses, I am so glad it was a source of comfort and encouragement.

2
Recovery Journals / Re: JDog's Journal
« on: May 22, 2019, 11:54:59 AM »
Wow - I had a gift yesterday in the form of a snail mail letter from my father’s youngest sister.  In the letter, she said that she loves me and is proud of me, misses both of my parents (they have both died) and letting me know she is basically doing fine for her age.  I think she is 81.  It was nice to get this, as I certainly feel like a Motherless Child, without siblings at all and with no close family anywhere within 1,000 miles from my current home.  I will snail mail back.

I am appreciating the fragility of this life of ours, the importance of connections, and the overall value of seeking the good in all nooks and crannies.  It is easy for me to become depressed, overwhelmed, defeatist.  But every day allows me a choice to respond in a more uplifted manner.  I must make that choice, as everything depends upon it.  I had a nice day at work yesterday, very busy day, and it left me feeling good.  As I left the final meeting of the day, I had to walk across the school cafeteria.  And my students who were there enjoying their after school snack between studying and other activities called out to me, wanted me to see them, wanted to connect because they like me.  You cannot buy that sweetness, it just exists in the world.  What a blessing.

3
Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal: Befriending My Parts
« on: May 20, 2019, 01:40:49 AM »
Hope,

Like Deep Blue, I also have trouble coping when my spouse is away.  We are definitely here for you, an online family ready to embrace you.  Be gentle with all of your selves during this time. :grouphug:

4
Recovery Journals / Re: JDog's Journal
« on: May 20, 2019, 01:37:37 AM »
Blue-

Glad you are so near the end!  Congrats!  Things will become clear very soon, my friend.  And if you end up needing extra coursework, I know you will go about it with grace. 

18 days more for me.  A bright spot is that the second one day strike planned for this coming week has been called off.  The district is finally “discovering” that they must obey the law and uphold our contract....with a lot of pressure from outside forces, a forensic audit by the state, and clobbering over the head by the State Superintendent.  Honestly, you could not make this stuff up.  I am thinking of writing a Lifetime Movie script about the lies and intrigue.  Maybe I can fund part of my retirement this way.....

Love ya.

5
You are certainly not a loser, Blueberry.  Giving up friends does certainly count as a loss, and creates a hole regardless of the reason they are no longer part of your circle. 

You deserve kind and compassionate friends.  Keep finding them.

6
Recovery Journals / Re: JDog's Journal
« on: May 18, 2019, 02:29:54 AM »
I enjoy this virtual classroom very much.  Your appreciation is a beautiful aspect of your own kind self, BH.  I have had an especially roller coasteresque week, and your validation is so wonderful to me right now. 

I had an experience today wherein I needed to get my principal to acknowledge that she needs to be more cautious about allowing certain kinds of parents to observe in classrooms and I put her on the defensive and she bit back for awhile until landing back in a more positive spot.  It made me realize that, much as I like her, she has little experience with either being discriminated against or being falsely accused of something.  I am ok, but sometimes standing up for myself is just as frustrating and difficult today as it was when I was a kid.

Anyway, thanks so very much,  all the validations you and others have sent means the world to me.

7
Jeez I am sorry to hear about the involuntary transfers.  Very sad.  My district is coming apart at the seams - will be taken over by the state if the budget cannot be balanced - and we had a teacher strike day last month with another possible day next week. It’s very hard to do the day to day job amidst uncertainty and chaos.  Sending you those deep breaths as your schedule becomes clear to you!

8
Recovery Journals / Re: JDog's Journal
« on: May 16, 2019, 02:16:02 AM »
Thank you, dear BeHea1thy.  Your kind words always soothe me and make me want to be my best self.  I hope you are continuing to prosper as well. :hug:

9
Cheering for my brave friend! :cheer: :hug:

10
 :hug:

11
Recovery Journals / Re: JDog's Journal
« on: May 14, 2019, 05:41:06 PM »
Deep Blue and Woodsgnome-

You are both such sensitive, affirming people.  My life is richer for having you part of it!  Thanks for the kindness you have shown me.... :grouphug:

12
Introductory Post / Re: LGBT - Family Disownment
« on: May 14, 2019, 12:30:49 PM »
Hi-

My childhood cptsd wounds were not necessarily due to homophobia, but as I became older and discovered my sexuality, I definitely have been rejected by some family members upon that basis.  It is painful to be shunned because of other peoples’ ignorance.  Now that I am much older, and a teacher in a public high school,  I have used that rejection and experience of “otherness” to reach out to not only LGBTQ teens but to others who are marginalized as well.  My weakness has become my strength.

I hope that you, too, can find a silver lining in such a painful reality.  Meanwhile, know that your value is forever untarnished by this and that some very caring people will come into your life and surprise you with their love and openness to who you are.

13
Sweet Deep Blue-

I’ve just now read your posts from last week and today.  You are going through such a lot, both in relationships with coworkers and students and within your own self.  I am holding you in my heart and sending wishes for clarity and for the ability to take small steps, not big ones.  You have had a lot of practice with handling tough situations.  I know in my heart that you will find a grounded place and break these new situations down into manageable morsels for your plate.

Please be kind to yourself. 

14
Recovery Journals / Re: JDog's Journal
« on: May 14, 2019, 03:38:38 AM »
That’s sweet, 3Roses. 

15
Recovery Journals / Re: JDog's Journal
« on: May 14, 2019, 02:22:29 AM »
Thank you for sharing that, Blueberry, it means the world to me.  I am not at all sure that I have ever fulfilled that particular role for a student but I do try and encourage them the best I can.  Maybe my central gif to them is just being “real”, at the same time as having good boundaries.  That teaches them how  safe in their other relationships (one hopes) and helps them know that they can be themselves (which ever self that may be at the moment, lol). 

So anyways, thanks a bunch.  I’m sorry nothing really changed for you at home once the three teachers expressed concern for your wellbeing.  But at least you perked up some.  That’s kind of a big deal, I think! :hug:

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