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Messages - LittleBird

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Just wanted to send you a  :hug:

Haven't got many other words, just that what ever you are going through, I hope you have some good things to cling to  :hug:

Sexual Abuse / SA *trigger*
« on: January 13, 2018, 03:39:45 PM »
I don't know when, if ever, I'll see what happened to me as "not my fault".

When I've heard what other victims of child SA have shared, my heart breaks. But when I think back - I'm not at the stage yet where I don't believe it was my responsibility.

Christmas & New Years / Re: New Year's Resolutions
« on: January 12, 2018, 05:21:39 PM »
Positivity is great. I struggle with setting realistic expectations with positivity. Still got to keep it up tho.

Christmas & New Years / New Year's Resolutions
« on: January 12, 2018, 05:45:18 AM »
I'm a bit late posting this because I've been busy. But have been thinking this morning about what I'd like from this new year.

I want to make progress with building myself up mentally and get fitter now I feel more able.

I want a new tattoo.

I want to make new friends and apologise to the friends/family I left behind if the reasons for doing that don't seem reasonable any more.

I want to study now I feel like I can retain information that bit better.

I want to learn to appropriately adjust my confidence in social situations.

I want to stop using the Internet so much and get to know people in the real world.

I want to be grateful for the positives I've experienced. I want to not repeat  mistakes again. This includes maintaining appropriate boundaries and asking for support when I need to.

Yeah, I think that'll do for now. I might ask a mod to move this to the recovery section.


Suicide Ideation/Self Harm / Re: SI
« on: January 09, 2018, 11:54:25 PM »
Thanks for the advice  :)

Suicide Ideation/Self Harm / SI
« on: January 08, 2018, 01:41:24 PM »
Has anyone got advice on what to do * old SI marks? I'm really upset about them. I think I need to use an oil treatment but I struggle with this kind of self care every day.

AV - Avoidance of Traumatic Reminders (eg Dissociation) / Medication
« on: January 06, 2018, 05:38:39 PM »
When using medication for a dissociation issue, has anyone else found the increase in mood swings particularly difficult to manage? Because it is rubbish to up and up dosages when the risks are high. I guess it's like gambling. Or being used to gamble. Or something.

Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: Trapped in flight/freeze cycle
« on: January 03, 2018, 04:00:46 AM »
I'm constantly fighting myself and recovery is never going to work. I don't have any options or abilities and I'm just a horrible person at the core. I thought I would be nicer if I felt well. That's not true. There is nothing I actually want to decide on. I hate myself.

AV - Avoidance of Traumatic Reminders (eg Dissociation) / Re: Shock
« on: January 03, 2018, 03:50:02 AM »
Sometimes I don't think I'll ever be able to do anything again.

Recovery Journals / Re: Calming down
« on: January 03, 2018, 03:42:21 AM »
I don't think I deserve the good things I already have. I think I've looked for bad things and missed the good stuff and now it's way too late to take it back.

Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: Trapped in flight/freeze cycle
« on: January 02, 2018, 10:22:28 PM »
 :hug: thanks sanmagic7, this helps

 :hug: sorry to hear you are taking a break (I've enjoyed your humour!) but you have fair enough reasons. I hope you feel a bit better soon and can rejoin, after some time refocusing.

Frustrated? Set Backs? / Trapped in flight/freeze cycle
« on: January 02, 2018, 09:28:08 PM »
I am, as the title suggests, getting worn out flipping between these two states. I feel like I've made some progress and know the direction I'm headed. It's just tiring me out so much because the path isn't clear yet.

I don't know who I can trust or who I can ask for advice in person. I'd really appreciate some advice.

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