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Messages - Confused sailor

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Therapy / Thursday therapy
« on: December 29, 2017, 02:07:31 PM »
Oddly enough after a session , it can take me up to three hours to regain my self enough to drive , my therapist office is a hour away . My record thus far has been 4 hours to make that one hour drive back, yesterday was odd. My appointment is for ten am   Her office is in a busy mall. But down a quiet corridor,  I got there right on time, turned handle on door. It was locked ... takes me everything I have to get my self there, so you can imagine my * moment , it is Thursday check. It is 10 am check , no messages or missed calls on phone. Check , so why the heck is the damn door locked . I even made sure I had right door .i must have looked like a fool standing there . Just at that moment a security guard happened by. She asked if I needed help,   I just nodded. And said the door is locked and I have a appointment,  just like that she took out her phone and called the office .  She said unlock the damn door you have a client out here. Then hung up ,a few seconds later A very sheepish receptionist open door , the security guard smiled at me as I said thank you. Then did the kindest thing put her hand on my shoulder, then walked away , It was just a smallest gesture , but it brought tears to my eyes , reminding me that there are caring people out there ...  needless to say session was a bust after that

Family of Origin (FOO) / Really taxed by my family c
« on: December 24, 2017, 10:01:08 PM »
Christmas Eve here .. my house usually with only 3. Now has nine, 3 of the nine are under 5  so a very busy age . I am having triggers  from boys yelling and screaming , everything that boys their age should be doing , I have retreated to my man cave in hopes of finding my center , so I can rejoin the family , and not look like a spaced out one,, wishing you all the very best.

General Discussion / Re: happy new year
« on: December 24, 2017, 01:47:37 AM »
Well said  Sir.  God what we put our selves through . My glass raised  in complete agreement

Introductory Post / Re: New here..
« on: December 24, 2017, 01:30:38 AM »
Thank you Blue Berry , I am in my room , weighted blanket on  , peppermint scent lol, just trying to get my self together for tomorrow , I am trying every suggestion my white coat throws at me.  Meds included.  I need my old life back.  Want to be the poppa. That made them smile a laugh ,

Introductory Post / Re: New here..
« on: December 24, 2017, 01:12:15 AM »
Thank you to all for warm welcome and replies , Christmas is upon us , hope you all have a great gift . Under tree , I am beyond stressed about it , I have 3 beautiful grandsons , that I loved so dear, but they are a trigger for me . How can ones so innocent bring back memories of my child hood . Takes everything I have . To hold it together  .

Introductory Post / New here..
« on: December 23, 2017, 02:43:27 PM »
Hello . New to this site, well to be honest new to this whole CPSTD , it has been 8 months of confusion and agony , the last 4 I have been in therapy,I have read many posts on here , now taking the plunge . My T recommended this site as a way to not feel I am the only one in world suffering . Even just sharing this has been difficult, thank you blueberry for direction on how to post ..

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