Messages

Hello,

I was wondering if anyone had advice on how to cut off an emotionally abusive mother. My mother emotionally abused me my entire life, and doesn't think or realize that she did, has been repeatedly trying to get in contact with me after I've stopped contacting her. She has left me voicemails nearly begging me to call her back because she is worried I'm dead or whatever. I live 1000 miles away from her, moved 2 states away to get away, but just recently severed my communication with her. She is having my sister call and text, and is saying she is going to "come out here" if I don't call to say I'm okay.

Has anyone ever experienced anything like this, or even have any advice on how to deal with a situation like this?
I'm just trying to think of what to say, via my sister, to get the point across that I am fine and am just needing some time right now.

I would greatly appreciate any advice as I desperately need it.

Thanks greatly.

Hello -

Back in January I started a new job and I love it. Except, it is quite different from any previous job I've ever had previous. The only exception it is still in the same occupational field. I've only been doing the job for 6 months and the job is so incredibly expansive; so much so that you cannot be taught everything but basics during the allotted training time. It usually takes around a year for someone to grasp the entire spectrum of this job, even still not completely. During my last monthly "one on one" meeting with my manager, he stated how quickly I was able to catch on and that I am ranked 2nd on the team, regarding speed, accuracy, and volume.

Anyways, long story short:  I was "assigned" a mentor, as all new employees are, to help train, develop and assist with any questions that may arise during the daily workflow. Which has proven to be both beneficial and detrimental. I don't need constant babysitting, nor do I need help with every single thing i face, in fact, I rarely need help anymore. But I still suffer from C-PTSD and some days are better than others, some days I have triggers, some days I don't. Some nights I sleep and get rest, others I struggle to keep my eyes open. And sometimes it won't be due to my C-PTSD, sometimes I am just working on something more complex than the norm.

Although she has been proven to be extremely helpful, patient and willing to assist with anything big or small, she is INCREDIBLY temperamental. This has been making my job unbelievably turbulent, especially when I am having one of those negative days as mentioned above. I never know what to expect, how she will respond to my question, will she be polite or snap at me. Will she make me feel stupid and give me full blown attitude? The days she responds positively, well are great, but those other times, are terrible. I am triggered back to how my mother used to be and I sink into depression, into tears, into feeling I am nothing and that I can't do a single thing right. Today was so bad, from her and another coworker, that I left work early. I couldn't take it, no matter the question, the look she gave me and the belittling was too much.

I don't know if it's just because of my C-PTSD that I am ultra-sensitive to this behavior, but it's becoming increasingly unbearable. And why should I use MY SICK TIME and leave work early, because another person doesn't know how to properly interact with their own coworkers, or person?

I just am stuck, I don't know what to do. Should I reach out to my manager and say something. I fear that if I do that, she will be more difficult to work with. But if I don't, I'm afraid that my job and performance will start to be effected. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated. I am completely lost.

Thanks.

Hello -

Does anyone else suffer from severe, almost unbearable social anxiety? My social anxiety keeps me awake by replaying conversations I've had with others throughout the day, agonizing over every word, only to start a vicious cycle of self loathing and criticism. Which makes me incredibly apprehensive when I have to interact with co-workers. I find myself unable to maintain eye contact and/or stumbling or stuttering over my words. I then begin trying to avoid any situation that may initiate a conversation, including reaching out for help or assistance if needed. Or it's the complete opposite and I begin excessively talking, unable to comprehend when it's time to stop. Unfortunately, this is only a few of a multitude of ways this presents itself in my life. No matter how it manifests itself, I'm always left feeling humiliated, stupid, panicked and ferociously beating myself up.
This has become so incredibly overwhelming; I've already completely isolated myself from my family and friends, that I'm afraid if this pattern of behavior persists I may just sequester myself away completely.
I'm not even sure if this is a C-PTSD symptom and others have, or if it's a completely different beast in and of itself. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the later.
I'd appreciate any thoughts or advice if available.

-MotherOf2Meowzers