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I think is more freezing than DID as far as I know, but I'll get more info and take a good look at the links be sure. Nevertheless, I don't think it is. Thanks for the replies Kizzie.

Take this with a grain of salt as I'm still analyzing the situation. What would you suggest to someone who came from an extremely abusive family but caught some FLEAS, I believe, BPD ones?

In addition, the help provided X could bring an amount of shame Z, witch make the help dysfunctional (including relationship with others). The amount of shame Z is likely caused by past abuses and maybe one of the causes the mental disorders were passed throughout the generations.


Also, this person could be extremely fragmented into several personalities that can make the head explode sometimes when elaborating thoughts and even replies on the forum sometimes can have multiple meanings. It is difficult to understand witch fragment has the right opinion.


Unfortunately, trusting everyone is not an option because there has been some abuse in past and neglet from people who were supposed to help. This is not sure, but it can really be.


Then, if a borderline has to accept medical help, who guarantees that the borderline is treated fairly without abuses? This is especially true if there are signs of freeze dissociation on it and a life full of bullies.


This is a full cptsd rant, and I'm really exhausted and not good to make posts. But I thought it was good to just type whatever it came to my mind quickly and see what I can get as responses.


I'm not really asking for anything in particular, please just let me know your opinions.


Edit: I've actually just found a thread  talking a little about the differences between CPTSD and BPD. I invite all the members to both don't exclude me  and take my worries seriously, I'd really appreciate thoughts on this. It is one very difficult thing I've been going through today and it'll be probably something that is going to be a very difficult topic.

I have read all your replies with a lot of conflicted thoughts guys.
I'm making a lot of considerations now, I will need some time to think.
I'd like to thank you mirliton, sanmagic7 and milk for your replies.

[compromises]

I'll reply to the first paragraph first. UK has been for me the "country of hotlines". It has been such a cool thing that has been introduced in my life! Like if I somehow came from "third to first world". I "invested" (that's what it looked like) GBP 10 in a pay to go SIM card and could call all the freephones (hotlines)! Those are the money I raised in many hours selling newspapers. (I'm trying to make you understand how much ridiculous is my life guys, and that I want to stop it/change it and get the basic kind of life you can all have, it is both funny and sad what happened).



There isn't such a concept as hotline in Italy. There are some but they focus on women or children. I have got help from hotlines here in UK but I fear there's no helpline who could help me with this. As I said I'm not eligible for help in UK. There isn't any hotline in Italy who could give me advice. Stability is a right I really never had, and I'm here now to don't accept any compromises anymore with my rights.


Trading work for accommodation may be an option if it hasn't to be a traumatic experience which can be compared to be a slave, because that's more or less how it feels. It exhausts me, not really much different from what some of you experience/d. In addition, I've to always stay isolated in order to don't dissociate/suffer. Of course it can improve, it needs time, and you said it, stability (rather than work in such a condition). It'd be the same than force someone without legs to run a marathon. (Just the one without legs doesn't have problem with toxic shame and s/he realized s/he must get help and nobody would be able to say he can run, abusers excluded).


In short, I volunteered for so long and it didn't work well. There is also the problem of bullism and abuse I'd encounter. I'm a freeze type, by the way. I suffered 20 long years, I want to have the stability and freedom in order to reach my potential. I was one of the most clever students of the classroom even though everyone (but a few teachers) disliked me. I think I deserve more, I think I've to get back the throne I never had but was supposed to be mine: my life.


An home, financial stability and all the proper help I need and deserve would led to a decent and good life. Basically, the same things every children with "decent" ( = who aren't psych criminals)  parents get! I don't say I want to be children again, but I need the stability and protection I never had. One step at I time I plan to be an individual able to work "normally", possibly as independent as possible to respect my freeze type needs.


I see what you mean with the term disability. But it is also a word that represent the stability and all the basic things I've never had. Googling disability site:cptsd.org some threads confirm what I think about it. Without that kind of support, my life would be a misery.  What I need to recover is the injury I had caused by the trauma, and that injury won't even start to heal without disability help. In other words it's like a inner children that says "hey, it really happened".


Mental wellness is one part of health together with physical and spiritual health, I think. All of them require things that I'm trying to get with the help that is given to citizen who are unable to contribute to the economy. Even injured animals get more help than me at the moment, and most of them had better parents. Having good parents is not luck, it is a normality that has to be respected and I don't want to suffer anymore because of that.


I accept the injury, but not the hardness I'd have to go through without the disability help. I'm sorry to have made it long, do you guys understand what I mean? Please let me read your opinions.


Last but not least, thank you for your reply milk, it's nice to be listened and not left alone. In other words, it was nice to read it. 

I'm trying to make this thread but I don't know where to post it. I tried searching for related topics and I thought the board General discussion in Symptoms was the best option but I'm not sure it's the right place.



The post is this one, can you please have a quick look at it and tell me if I posted it in the right board and what is the best board to post it?

I'm homeless in the UK. I'm born and raised in Italy. All my life has been sufferance even I enjoyed the small things. I also had a long travel and lot of volunteering to try to escape my family of origin (FOO).


To escape the domestic violence, I left the country. (I'm trying to make it simple, the story is much longer and like a lot of things brought one situation than brought another and so on).


My country works in a similar way than UK regarding local connections. Basically, I get help in the town I'm originally from, can't move. In order to move I'd have to live in a home/friend with spare room for 3 months or so. I don't have any friends and can't afford rent (literally). So I'd have to stay in the areas where my parents live, and everybody know everyone in that Italian style community.


I couldn't get help elsewhere, so due to my story as well, I'm in the UK now. Due to much more stuff, I'm homeless and it is better than volunteering to survive. I sell the big issue to pay for food and sleep in shelters mainly populated by drug addicted homelesses.



Of course I don't get any help from the UK/council because I'm foreign. I'm not eligible at all since I've not been working and lived enough in the UK. I have to find a job and pay rent and so on (a charity would pay the first month), but I'm also realizing new things now... I'm successful at interviews and I've potential and all but....


I don't feel like I'd been able to work constantly with my CPTSD. I read a lot on the Internet and even if you don't know me I've read a lot of post here. Disability has been a concept that always scared me due to what I lived in my childhood. But now I think is actually the key to allow recovery in the first place.


Some of you have the help we all deserve in your countries, I'd really like to have it too. Unfortunately, I think I need some help. I'll be doing all I can (just an example: I'm now trying to find persons to help me to find the words to speak to the services I can speak).


I also need advice. If you know something useful, or you want to tell me something, or can sometimes search the Internet, it'd be all very helpful.



I cannot get help from the UK and I'd have to work and practically suffer several more years before starting a decent recover I think. I'm tired of it, it is not fair and it is not the life I want. From Italy I could BUT, my brother gets just EUR 200 monthly, he is considered "fine", he stays in touch with my father (who pays his bills) while being confused at the same time and is in a very bad situation! Why? Words, I think, and inability to get the help he deserves. I don't want that, that's one of the reason I'm trying to speak here (please be patient though, I find participating in a forum very difficult).



In addition, I have to somehow find a way to get disability and live away from my FOO. I don't know how to do this and I've to figure out a way to do it in order to stop my humiliating life. I want and need to live away from my FOO and get the help I deserve somewhere, anywhere, as soon I can (hopefully, soon, I can't live like this anymore).



Thanks for reading my post, please feel free to write what you think, anything you want to say could be very helpful to help my situation.

Delete this post please.