Menu

Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Show posts Menu

Messages - Ecowarrior888

#1
Art / Prisoner of mind and heart....
May 23, 2020, 07:30:26 PM
Fighting...
#2
Art / Trapped....
May 22, 2020, 11:21:50 PM
his voice is louder and its dark....
#3
Welcome Sunny,

I am so sorry for everything you have endured. But you are a survivor; you have a lot to process. But what is amazing about this site is it is proof we aren't alone. Though everyone has had different experiences; everyone understands your pain and loneliness. That is why I joined this forum, I felt so alone because I felt no one understood the constant triggers and how debilitating they can be. But I wish you the best and wanted you to know you are not alone.

Ecowarrior <3
#4
Welcome bookworm.

You are not alone <3
#6
Thank you so much <3 This means a lot to me. That there may be a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have to figure out how to about my holidays still... I've been married for 5 years and it is always a struggle coming up to it. Especially when my family is still toxic and sometimes I just really want to see my Mom and that's it...
But you are right, just celebrate holidays for what it is and I can change up my traditions. Any suggestions would be amazing :) I am hispanic so anything that isn't would be something new for me :)
#7
I am tired. I am tired all the time. It is constant warfare in my head. Constantly trying to convince myself that I am not at my dad's house anymore. That my husband is loving, caring and considerate. Our home is safe. Lately though my mind is just reeling. It never stops going in circles. I can't stand being home alone not because I don't want to be. I want to be home but my mind starts getting disoriented and thinking I am in the past again. I work so hard to feel better and to be better. I have therapy once a week, I take my meds every day, I use all my coping mechanisms: yoga, painting, singing, playing guitar or uke, playing video games, watching comedies, going on adventures like Kayaking or birdwatching and swimming. Swimming is the best one for me; it is like it almost resets my brain but lately it isn't as effective as it used to be... it helps for a few hours and then I just plummet again.... And now.... it is almost October. The holiday season is starting and I think my symptoms are just getting started....again.

Does anyone else feel like this?
#8
Art / How I am feeling on the inside...
August 17, 2019, 12:15:50 PM
https://ecowarrior8888.livejournal.com/14440.html

Not finished yet. There is more to this piece but for how it looks like now... It actually emphasizes how I feel right now.

No glasses...I feel like I can't see clearly and everything is fuzzy.
Disheveled...Tired and beat up from all the abuse, the bullying, the harassment...
The books...To distract myself, to feel better, to document.....

Trying to figure out how to cope at work right now. So triggering :(
#9
Art / Re: Coping
August 17, 2019, 03:22:33 AM
Thank you so much everyone <3 Been feeling insecure about my art lately. Been feeling blocked :'(
#10
Art / Coping
August 16, 2019, 02:41:52 PM
Panic Attacks with my furbaby Zelda, she helps bring me back....
And going on adventures to see burrowing owls in the wild <3

https://ecowarrior8888.livejournal.com/14332.html
#11
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Trying to read
August 09, 2019, 12:44:52 PM
Go at your own pace. Those books talk about what you may be going through which could definitely be triggering.

To be honest, ive been wanting to purchase my body keeps score but i cant even get myself to walk around with that book or open it in the cafe and skim through it.

Do you recommend this book? i have pretty severe symptoms from my understanding:panic attacks, dissociation, flashbacks, etc.
Is it helpful to read?
#12
Checking Out / Re: Leaving, for a while at least
August 09, 2019, 12:31:05 PM
I completely understand your thought process. I didnt feel safe also. I feel like I cant express everyhing and I wish I could be of better support to others. It is amazing that you recognized that you need to take a step back. Keep writing for you though. I hope you feel better soon bluepalm. I appreciate you <3 Take care of youraekf and I wish you the best.
#13
Art / It has been a while...
August 08, 2019, 02:48:46 PM
A lot has happened. Still being harrassed at work, my Magnolia is still in hospice, my husband broke his arm to the point where it required surgery, I have had panic attacks 3 days in a row.... I am surviving. I don't feel safe to write anymore... or to draw. I know I need professional help, and I have it: I have therapy once a week and I am on meds. I am trying.

Well, here are 2 rough sketches from this week:

https://ecowarrior8888.livejournal.com/12533.html
#14
Art / Re: Overwhelmed...she is fading -TW
July 07, 2019, 12:46:45 AM
Aaand my husband broke his arm last night. He is in so much pain...

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Pray for my Magnolia that she stops suffering 😭
#15
Thanks so much. I definitely will. I have my interview today so fingers crossed...

Thanks for your support everyone