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Messages - cynditk

#1
Hi all,

I have fragile health. As a child/early adolescent I was sick a lot, which was treated as an inconvenience by my parents. I wasn;t really shamed for it, but I was abandoned and ignored emotionally when ill, and sometimes physically as well.

Now, I really hate my vulnerable parts and when my health issues flare, hate them as well. It makes it really difficult to do what I need to do to care for myself both physically and emotionally.

Anyone else experience this, and find ways on accepting their little vulnerable parts as it relates to health?
#2
Medication / Re: Beta blockers and health concerns
October 24, 2019, 05:36:34 PM

I just started using one- Clonidine- on the advice of my Nurse Practitioner. Been on for a week and so far so good, helping a lot! She did not tell me that it was a short term thing, I will have to ask about long term effects.
#3
General Discussion / Reparenting experiment
July 09, 2019, 05:52:45 PM


The knowledge of how the childhood neglect and abuse affected me long term is really beginning to land as I see the repeating patterns in my life.

the knowledge that my parents weren't just bad parents, they were bad people, is the hardest to admit and accept. The shame about that is massive.

In learning to trust myself, that is where my inner kids struggle the most- having an inner image of good parent figures to turn to when I need guidance, when I need to make good decisions for myself.  3/

This morning I tried imagining a mother figure that I connect with from a book, and asking her questions. I felt a shift inside- a hunger and willingness for that guidance- and it worked. I got the answer I needed. 4/

The emptiness in me where my internalized mom is supposed to be felt a bit less empty. Im going to keep trying this and see where it leads.




#4

Thank you for sharing this Tee. Im so sorry you had to live through that. It sounds like you are making good progress in therapy. I am sending big hugs to your inner kids!!!  :hug:
#5
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Jumping in
July 06, 2019, 07:18:45 PM
welcome, glad you are here!  :cheer:
#6
Please Introduce Yourself Here / New member joining
July 04, 2019, 06:25:58 PM
HI everyone,

So glad to be joining this forum! I was diagnosed with C-PTSD last fall. My journey started in 2018 with the #metoo and #churchtoo movements, and with the subsequent symptoms I developed at that time which led me to a trauma therapist. I have been in therapy on and off for 20+ years and no one had ever diagnosed me with C-PTSD, so I had been undergoing therapy for depression but nothing else. I developed C-PTSD as a result of abuse and neglect suffered in childhood. As happens for many survivors who aren't treated for C-PTSD, this was ineffective and led to a cascade of additional trauma in my adult life: religious abuse, sexual assaults, and repeated unhealthy relationships.

Now that I have the correct diagnosis and am in the correct form of treatment, I am healing. The more I learn the better I heal. Apart from Internal Family Systems trauma therapy I also utilize mind-body healing- meditation, movement, nature, art. This approach works really well for me.

Im looking forward to participating here, learning and connecting with others, as we walk this road together.