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Messages - Snowdrop

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Recovery Journals / Re: A Safe Place To Be Visible
« on: October 14, 2020, 05:40:05 PM »
I'm sending you a lifebelt to help keep you afloat. Well done for resisting those urges. Thinking of you. :grouphug:

Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal: Still Befriending My Parts.
« on: October 13, 2020, 07:15:12 AM »
I see being able to feel anger as a good thing too.

I went for years without consciously feeling anger. It's only really been since I started working with parts that I've been able to acknowledge and feel it.

I recognise now that the anger was always there, but I pushed it down, probably because it didn't feel safe. I think abnormal, traumatic events being normalised had something to do with this too. At the time, I didn't realise that I had every right to feel angry.


Recovery Journals / Re: Owl's journal
« on: October 13, 2020, 07:04:56 AM »
That's great news, Owl. :hug:

Recovery Journals / Re: Tee’s 2nd try journal* trigger warning *
« on: October 13, 2020, 07:03:54 AM »
You're not dumb, Tee, and you're not a failure. Your reaction to a trauma anniversary is completely understandable. I get it.

Is there anything you can do to bring comfort to yourself? Can I bring you a cup of tea or a soft blanket?

Sending you safe, gentle hugs. Here for you. :hug:

Recovery Journals / Re: Snowdrop's journal
« on: October 10, 2020, 08:14:53 PM »
Thank you San and Tee :grouphug:.

I've been working with a couple of activated parts, a teen part and one that's about 7.

The parts were activated because we needed to get someone in to make a repair. Nobody else has been into our house since we went into lockdown at the beginning of the year, and the parts felt threatened, fearful and anxious. It reminded them of HB trying to get into my bedroom, and my safe space being invaded.

=== Possible TW ===

The young part shared a memory of her trying to hold the door shut while HB shoulder-charged it, trying to get in. She was scared, screaming, and it hurt her to try and keep him out like that. She was also scared he'd break the door down, and she'd be blamed.

The teen part shared that HB used to barge into her bedroom with no warning. She was scared he'd catch her changing, and when she had the door locked, scared he'd break the door. She tried raising with F, and remembers him saying "why, what were you doing in there". Putting shame on her. Also F saying that if she stayed locked up in her bedroom, he'd remove the lock.

=== End TW ===

I've told the parts that what they experienced was scary and wrong. They deserved to feel safe and secure, and HB was completely in the wrong. They were entitled to boundaries. Also F's response was completely wrong. He put shame on the teen part which was never hers to carry.

I also shared the memories with H, who helped to validate the parts.

The parts have been unburdening.

Recovery Journals / Re: Not Alone: Reduced Visibility; One Step at a Time
« on: October 06, 2020, 06:19:32 AM »
I'm sorry, Notalone. I hear you. :grouphug:

General Discussion / Re: One thing that helped you
« on: October 03, 2020, 10:41:04 AM »
For me, it was reading the book "Internal Family Systems Therapy" by Richard Schwartz and Martha Sweezy. It helped me to understand the sorts of things you describe in terms of parts, and gave me a way to help and heal those parts. I've been much better since I started putting these things into practice. Much more even and whole.

Recovery Journals / Re: Not Alone: Reduced Visibility; One Step at a Time
« on: October 03, 2020, 03:47:24 AM »

Recovery Journals / Re: More Concrete Steps, More Therapy Homework
« on: October 01, 2020, 08:34:15 PM »
I'm reading your last post and looking impressed. Action! Boundaries! Progress! Well done, Blueberry. :cheer:

Recovery Journals / Re: Not Alone: Reduced Visibility; One Step at a Time
« on: October 01, 2020, 02:47:32 PM »
Sending that email sounds very proactive, Notalone.

On two nights this week, I've had two new Littles show up. To me the timing seems weird, considering I'm in the middle of an "adult" real-time serious situation.

Sometimes I get new parts showing up because I'm in the middle of a real-time serious situation. I think something about it activates them, so they start making themselves known.

I hope it goes well with your therapist. :grouphug:

Recovery Journals / Re: Not Alone: Reduced Visibility; One Step at a Time
« on: September 30, 2020, 04:08:01 PM »
I hear you, Notalone. Can I bring you a cup of tea, and perhaps put a soft blanket round your shoulders? :grouphug:

Recovery Journals / Re: Snowdrop's journal
« on: September 30, 2020, 12:15:38 PM »
Thank you Hope, Notalone, Three Roses and Tee. :grouphug:

H accepting parts has felt really significant. Up until now, I've not really been able to talk about any of the stuff I've been doing because he wouldn't have understood. Now, I can mention parts, and he accepts it. I think this has further helped my parts feel witnessed, and helped with their burdens. They feel accepted.

It's also been astonishing and beautiful just how well he's been getting on. He can tell when he's blended with the part, and asking the part to step aside and give him space seems to be working really well. Also me being my Self helps him, and him being his Self helps me (if that makes sense ;D)

Recovery Journals / Re: Tee’s 2nd try journal* trigger warning *
« on: September 29, 2020, 12:04:14 PM »
Thinking of you, Tee. Dealing with new parts and new memories can be difficult. I care about you, irrespective of how much you post here. :hug:

Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal: Still Befriending My Parts.
« on: September 29, 2020, 12:02:10 PM »
But I am a survivor of all those things, and I am functioning and have been functioning so much better than I would have imagined that I could have done.  So that is good.  I have come out of things, and I am ok.

Yes!  :yes: You are. All of these things come across in what you write.

I'm glad your headache/migraine has gone. Having a day of self-kindness sounds wonderful. :hug:

Recovery Journals / Re: Snowdrop's journal
« on: September 29, 2020, 09:00:32 AM »
I've had an insightful week.

We seem to be facing a second wave of covid, with more measures being put in place. I'm worried about it spreading again, worried that the measures won't be enough, and my sleep has been affected. I recognise that over the next six months, looking after my mental health is going to be very important. I need to make sure that I don't overwork, and do what I can to keep my parts calm.

H has been very stressed this week too. I've been concerned about him, and doing what I can to help him. The past couple of days have been interesting. Up until now, H has been very dismissive of IFS. Probably a mix of fear, and something that's beyond his experience. This weekend, he realised that he had a hypervigilant part that's a bit out of touch with reality, and this has changed his whole attitude towards IFS. We've used IFS to calm the part down, help it, and put H's Self back in charge, and H is much, much better as a result.

I'm pleased that H is feeling much better, and that I have enough experience with IFS to be able to help him. I'm also pleased that H now accepts that parts exist, and working with them is helpful. It helps him, and it makes things much easier for me.

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