Holidayay, I can relate to pretty much all of what you've said, and am going through a similar situation; the cognitive dissonance (mismatch of feeling FOO is supportive and loving with memories of their terrible behavior), having to lie about family and be rewarded for it as "good", "loving", etc, feeling alone despite connecting with others, and anxiety being tenfold; I recently had an incident with my own sister, and since then trying to talk to anyone - including "proven safe" people - has felt exactly like trying to pull a dog who doesn't want to walk and is pulling backwards.
I'm in a somewhat similar situation in that I have a younger stepsister who is showing symptoms I have of being in an abusive family, and I feel like I should do something to prevent this cycle continuing, yet am legally helpless. Though I can't speak on what would help with your niece, I do find some solace in knowing that there are many others who can help her; the fact there's a case and social worker on it gives her a strong chance at getting out. And there are many people who do grow up in hardship who are successful later in life; Kelly Clarkson, Will Smith. Even more start out in similar lives and are adopted into loving families.
Ultimately, I agree with the other posters; self-care first. Any little bit you can do, even if it's getting up to get a glass of water. I can say from experience it does get better, and personally recommend cutting contact with abusive family as much as you can; maybe find some local support groups like NAMI, where you can be around others in similar situations. You've got friends you're staying with, and that's really good; you're prioritizing health, which is worth its weight in gold.
I can't tell you how you'll get through it, except one day at a time. Often, one hour or minute at a time. But I'm very certain you'll be able to get through it nonetheless.
I'm in a somewhat similar situation in that I have a younger stepsister who is showing symptoms I have of being in an abusive family, and I feel like I should do something to prevent this cycle continuing, yet am legally helpless. Though I can't speak on what would help with your niece, I do find some solace in knowing that there are many others who can help her; the fact there's a case and social worker on it gives her a strong chance at getting out. And there are many people who do grow up in hardship who are successful later in life; Kelly Clarkson, Will Smith. Even more start out in similar lives and are adopted into loving families.
Ultimately, I agree with the other posters; self-care first. Any little bit you can do, even if it's getting up to get a glass of water. I can say from experience it does get better, and personally recommend cutting contact with abusive family as much as you can; maybe find some local support groups like NAMI, where you can be around others in similar situations. You've got friends you're staying with, and that's really good; you're prioritizing health, which is worth its weight in gold.
I can't tell you how you'll get through it, except one day at a time. Often, one hour or minute at a time. But I'm very certain you'll be able to get through it nonetheless.