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Messages - Hope4Me

#1
All these rules and technicalities and watching out for triggers are overwhelming.   I don't understand triggers or how you know what one is so I will I guess just be quiet.
#2
Member Guidelines (PLEASE READ FIRST) / Re: Swearing
August 21, 2015, 10:15:44 AM
Quote from: Lifecrafting on August 17, 2015, 11:17:09 PM
I grew up in an environment where vocabulary, in terms of learning how to use it effectively, was not important; what I did learn, is how to swear and I learned that very well! As I grew older, I naturally found a love of reading and writing and through that, I found different ways to express myself. I also learned to respect the company I keep and to the best of my ability, use my words appropriately.
QuoteI think that banning the keyboard mash would be going too far, because that would be essentially saying that no one is allowed to express their anger and frustration except by writing well thought out and sensitive prose that happens to be impossible for many people when they get triggered (or searching for the approved emoticons).
I agree here as well. Mourningdove, you said that beautifully!

As with all aspects of language, there is a time/place where swearing totally fits my emotional state and is just as valuable as any other word created by that energy. 
Taking others into consideration, if we must alter the way we express ourselves to accommodate the group as a whole, I say it's a good thing but banning the keyboard mash? No...

I read a post here a few days back and someone used "effin" in place of a swear word. And for me, it worked; I felt the energy behind the statement just as if the swear had been spoken.
So "effin" is OK?

So we have to get our swear words pre-approved?  What's the use?   Non-spontaneous swearing doesn't get it for me.  It's just another control mechanism to add to all the others.  My dogs know a certain way I say (geez is it okay to say "the F-word", not the word itself just the F-word) that word - they know when I'm just saying it for the heckuva it and when I seriously ticked.  If it bothers them they go in the other room for 10 minutes they come back and all is well.
#3
Member Guidelines (PLEASE READ FIRST) / Re: Swearing
August 21, 2015, 10:10:11 AM
Quote from: KayFly on August 15, 2015, 08:20:48 PM
That's interesting. I'm triggered by being told not to swear because in the midst of my childhood abuse, sexual abuse, mental and physical abuse,, when I tried to speak out angrily and swore, the only way my perpetrators (my parents), could win an argument, was by saying "don't swear" taking the authoritive figure, and therefore oppressing the problem further.

I get being triggered, and I do swear when expressing anger at times in this forum. Sorry if I have personally offended anyone.

We all have different triggers I guess.

I'm glad you said that now all I have to say is I agree and "me too".   Swearing is a release but maybe also a disguise -- as long as I'm swearing I'm not crying and I don't attract bullies who will tell me more things about my deficiencies I don't need to hear.
#4
Quote from: woodsgnome on July 08, 2015, 02:53:43 PM
I was frantic this morning...my recurring "why is this stuff still happening" thought floated through along with the familiar "will I ever heal" lament.

A little later I wandered onto a web site and found a link about a fresh perspective on healing...so I took a look and it dovetailed with what I needed to hear, to be reminded of, so I thought I'd share it here, where so many of us are searching for that elusive healing...here is the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRLKZN1LRFM

That makes me tired -- life is an endless stream of thinking of wishing for a connection there has never been.  And the older I get the more hopeless I feel - if I was unworthy of love when I was young and pretty my chances now are a fools mission.