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Messages - OceanStar

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General Discussion / Re: What do you do in the evenings?
« on: October 30, 2020, 08:45:47 PM »
Thanks snookiebookie, glad I'm not the only one who feels that drive to reach the end of the day then 'flops'. I'm sorry you experience it too but I'm glad to know I'm not alone in it. Thank you for responding.

Yes, I journal too but it often feels like part of the process rather than me... does that make sense.

Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - Part 7
« on: October 30, 2020, 08:38:22 PM »
1. Country parks, beautiful open spaces.

2. A friend to enjoy it with.

3. Warm blankets.

General Discussion / What do you do in the evenings?
« on: October 30, 2020, 08:30:42 PM »
So, this is perhaps a silly question but...
What do you do in the evenings?

I struggle to do anything other than flop in a heap because I'm so tired. Recently I've been thinking I might need to push myself to do a bit more. To begin to reclaim some of the 'me' that has been eroded away by everything that is CPTSD.

Any thoughts or suggestions welcomed.

Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - Part 7
« on: October 24, 2020, 08:57:22 PM »
1. Photography

2. Autumn leaves

3. Batch cooking

4. Warm showers

5. Calm sensible people

I didn't know what anger was until relatively recently. I had to google it. I got a surprise, it wasnt all bad and aggressive like I had thought, it took a while for me to adjust my thinking but things began to make sense at least academically if you like.
I remember saying to my SO that I didn't get angry, he laughed and looked incredulously at me. I clearly did get angry but I had no idea I was angry. I now recognise the behaviours that accompany anger sometimes but not always the feelings. I can see anger in others. Acknowledging my anger is a different thing. I still dont really get it in terms of feeling it and recognising it in the moment or even how and why I'm angry. I think that's all for now. Hope some of that helps.

Inner Child Work / Re: How to journal - to honour and befriend my parts
« on: October 18, 2020, 09:11:47 PM »

I write, his is a little of my experience if any of it is useful then great, if not then please disregard.

I have a main note book and a small one I take out in my bag, that one has no identifying names etc in just incase I loose it, that one I only write in as me now.

I have noticed that my handwriting changes wildly, tho that's not through any conscious effort, so the parts of me are very distinguishable. I also sometimes draw or just make lines zigzags if writing words is too much. Sometimes using different media, ie felt pen, pencil, etc seems important, but I don't specifically have different pens for different ages. I have also turned the book upside down and started again at the back, often for a different style of writing rather than a 'different me' tho.

When I first started my main concern was confidentiality. Felt very vunerable but this has lessened over time.

I hope you're able to find something that works for you, it has really helped me.

I'd love to hear how you get on.

Introductory Post / Re: Introduction
« on: October 18, 2020, 08:53:32 PM »
Welcome to oots

Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - Part 7
« on: October 17, 2020, 07:29:25 PM »
1 The house is tidyer than it was. It was a struggle to do but I feel better for having some space.

2 Fish and chips.

3 The calming effect of a hot water bottle.

Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - Part 7
« on: October 16, 2020, 07:56:26 PM »
1 Dancing

2 Someone else driving

3 It didn't rain

4 Pudding

Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - Part 7
« on: October 12, 2020, 06:11:18 PM »
1. I left the house to get some fresh air.

2. SO suggested getting a take away, I am so glad I don't have to cook.

Struggling with a third one today.

Therapy / Re: Asking questions
« on: October 10, 2020, 08:16:07 PM »

This talking about stuff is so difficult. I asked my questions, T answered openly and honestly.

Now I am terrified of going back to therapy. The thought that she knows something, knows the areas that are important to me. I freeze before we even begin. She hadn't pushed, she's giving me the space  but I'm still terrified.

Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - Part 7
« on: October 10, 2020, 08:07:47 PM »
1. Getting out the house. It helped.

2. Gentle lighting. Bright lights hurt.

3. Sweet potato chips.

4. My very patient SO.

5. TV, it is a useful distraction.

Other / Re: a myriad of unexplained physical symptoms
« on: October 08, 2020, 01:30:49 PM »
Oh I am sorry you are experiencing all that.

Thank you for your honesty. I can personally relate to so much of what you were describing. You are no alone I  in experiencing multiple physical symptoms.

Just as one sympton goes, another comes.

It's as if parts of our bodies are screaming something is wrong and our brains will not allow us to give it the rest and comfort it needs to recover and when we begin to realise what's going on another part of the body starts the process all over again.

I truly believe we can heal, it may take a long time but I believe we can.

A hug, if that's ok, of support and solidarity for you.

Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - Part 7
« on: October 03, 2020, 07:42:11 PM »
1. Successful shopping trip for household bits.

2. A brief pause in the rain, I walked around the local park and enjoyed getting outside.

3. The flicker of a candle and scent from my oil burner, I rarely light it but this evening I have and I am enjoying it.

4. Snuggling in a blanket listening to the gentle patter of rain on the windows and roof.

Physical Abuse / Re: Huge trigger warning flashback
« on: September 24, 2020, 06:41:59 PM »
Oh deepblue. I don't have any words. I am sorry you had to go through that.

While I was reading all I wanted to do was hold you until the pain and fear had gone.

You are strong and brave. It is in the past and lighter times will come.

Sending a  :hug: if that's ok.

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