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Messages - sanmagic7

#16
Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal 2024
February 16, 2024, 03:15:38 AM
you continually inspire me to keep going, hope.  thanks for that.  love and hugs :hug:
#17
Recovery Journals / Re: Papa Coco's Recovery Journal
February 16, 2024, 03:10:52 AM
QuoteI also share your sentiments about the healing journey having lots of tools in it, and the people in this forum being an integral part of that.  I also trust the experience and value the sharing that occurs daily in this place.

this is a special place indeed, PC, and glad you're part of it.

i also have those times when i'm distressed w/in myself and can't quite get it together enough to respond to others.  you're not alone. love and hugs :hug:
#18
Recovery Journals / Re: Eerie Anne's Journal
February 16, 2024, 03:08:47 AM
EA, i relate to so much of your struggle and just want to let you know that you're not alone.  we can't automatically do what we haven't been taught or shown (like IT stuff, self-soothing, etc.) sending you much love and a big hug filled with care  :bighug:
#19
Recovery Journals / Re: Forging New Paths
February 09, 2024, 03:49:59 PM
i'm with the others on this, blueberry. so sorry for your loss - my heart is with you while you grieve.  love and hugs :hug:
#20
Recovery Journals / Re: Papa Coco's Recovery Journal
February 09, 2024, 03:48:24 PM
hey, pc,

the zoom groups sound wonderful and i'm sure they're also very helpful.  good for you for doing this. i'm also glad you set a boundary for yourself - that's always important for us. 

keep up the good work.  and thanks on behalf of everyone. love and hugs :hug:
#21
Recovery Journals / Re: Sage's Journal
February 09, 2024, 03:42:54 PM
hey, cf,

i hope your disability news comes soon, and it's positive for you.  my D's came back already, a big, fat, 'no' - basically it said she wasn't disabled enough.  her rep says they'll go for another round of appeals, tho, and she just needs to keep getting med. notations.  dang.

your creative side never ceases to amaze me.  it's wonderful.

so glad you found that 'star trek' series and it's bringing you such joy.  that's wonderful.  my D and i decided that bringing our tv when we move was an absolute must - for mental health reasons!  there's nothing like being able to immerse yourself in a good storyline and characters you care about to take you out of a difficult reality.

keep going, cf.  i think you're doing really well in spite of the down days, etc.  love and hugs :hug:
#22
Recovery Journals / Re: too much
January 17, 2024, 06:32:04 AM
hey, notalone.  yeah, it was a good break from some of my reality. thanks for your support. :hug:

back to 'normal' now. my D is home. it really did feel like a break from our reality cuz i didn't have to discuss finances or difficulties or anything neg. w/ her. that felt good.  i did discover how very stressed i was while she was gone, and i didn't realize it.  mostly cuz we had some terrible weather, downed trees, power outages (not for me, yay!) but a tree fell on the motel where she was staying, no power for 2 days, they were finally able to find a room somewhere else.  i'm just glad her muscle memory kicked in for snowy, icy driving.  still, stressful.

at any rate, right now things are pretty calm.  i'll take it.  who knows what will happen tomorrow? hopefully, more calm, or at least some good news. that would be nice.
#23
notalone, the same thing happened to me w/ the journals, but w/ several members' help i'm also in the new private journal section.  hope to see you there.

good luck w/ the resume.  i can relate to feeling overwhelmed when having to undertake a task like that.  at your own pace, ok?  love and hugs :hug:
#24
Recovery Journals / Re: Forging New Paths
January 17, 2024, 06:21:48 AM
blueberry, i hope you get some relief thru your physio.

by the by, paperwork for me is also a chore, sometimes nearly impossible, always nerve-wracking.  well done on finding a paper you misplaced.  it counts.  love and hugs :hug:
#25
Recovery Journals / Re: Sage's Journal
January 15, 2024, 03:20:21 PM
hey, CF, i remember my days w/ a crockpot and used it voraciously.  haven't used one in quite a while, tho, but dang, that meat came out tender!  so glad you're enjoying yours.

i've also discovered there are a lot of shows that are too triggering for me to watch anymore. when i didn't realize what was happening, it wasn't a problem. now that i know, yep, like you, they're off the table for me.

i know you'll get to your projects when you're ready.  love and hugs :hug:
#26
Recovery Journals / Re: too much
January 15, 2024, 03:16:01 PM
i do love to read, EA, but haven't really been into it for quite some time.  i used to read voraciously, utilized libraries consistently, and in mex. had a friend who exchanged books w/ friends - and when he finished reading them, he gave them to me.

i've never belonged to a book club, tho. there are too many stories now which trigger/activate the sensitive parts of my mind. same w/ movies.  but a chat and warm drink sounds lovely.  thanks. :hug:

just staying warm right now. my D is w/ a friend for the weekend.  it's actually been nice being on my own, once i got used to being alone w/ the cat.  i wouldn't be able to do this forever cuz i no longer am able to navigate bill-paying and such, but for these few days i've liked it.
#27
Recovery Journals / Re: Eerie Anne's Journal
January 15, 2024, 03:08:30 PM
interesting stuff, EA.  the loneliness portion reminded me of the 'failure to thrive' syndrome. i'd first heard it connected to WWII in england, where babies were sent out of london for protection to outlying hospitals. their staff, unfortunately, was overwhelmed, and couldn't do much more than shelter and feed the babies. it was noticed that these children failed to thrive, as in not growing or gaining weight at a normal level, hence the advent of using older people to come in and spend time rocking babies when the parents weren't available.

this has always fascinated me, how we can be given the necessities of life, so to speak, yet because of not having regular human contact, we can be prone to all sorts of maladjustments physically, mentally, emotionally.

i hate that you've had problems speaking up, asking for what you need, and having that ignored/denied. you're another example of the strength we have shown in the midst of sometimes life-threatening adversity. love and hugs :hug:

#28
Physical Abuse / Re: How to forget *TW PA*
January 11, 2024, 04:23:17 PM
you'd think the crappy people would be somehow stressed, but i think their crappiness just doesn't give a care.  nope, it's us uncrappy people who wear the wounds and try to muck thru somehow.

i've held that shame about not getting over something, have also been judged/questioned by others why not just 'let go'. i agree w/ you, it's in our entire nervous system, possibly even down to a cellular level, which prevents us from living by platitudes (let go and let god from 12-step programs - i can't tell you how many times i've heard that one!)

i know i can say in my head, and to you, that the shame/blame belongs to the perps, and i truly believe that, but that doesn't prevent it from creeping up and upsetting me over and over.  we'll get thru this.  keep up the good work, ok?  love and hugs  :hug:
#29
Physical Abuse / Re: How to forget *TW PA*
January 07, 2024, 05:23:20 PM
i've been struggling w/ the idea of forgetting my ex and all that happened recently, too, phoebes. have talked w/ my therapist about it and she told me the extent and complexity (all that mental/emot. abuse is never simple) of it is what makes it so difficult to get out from under it.

i believe it's wrapped around my neural networks and has changed them, so i'm working on changing them back, but that's a very slow and tedious project. i've also had him appear in my life, either directly or remotely, which brings all the crapola from the past rushing to the forefront of my mind once again.

it's a battle, a struggle, but i really think all we can do is keep fighting. if writing about it helps, please continue. love and hugs  :hug:
#30
hi, kizzie,

looks like this is the place to go for requests for the private journals.  w/ everything going on w/ my D1, i've gotten nervous about writing my stuff on the forum.  thanks for considering me.  love and hugs :hug: