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Late to the game on this one, but this is a wonderful development.

I've been noticing small cognitive improvements too. I can 'think easier' if that makes sense. Make connections between ideas just that little bit quicker, and stronger as well.

Agree with your last post. How is it going one month on?

Just saw this, very proud of you Radical.

I've got very little data now, so cannot watch this link. But...

An important item from the sapolski lecture is how after repeated disaster causing depression the depressions become cyclical without much of a reason to bring them on.

and

People in real life don't get it, many of the people who know about what has happened to me just say things like ' I couldn't cope with that' or 'I don't know how you cope'.

I don't cope, I suffer two rather tricky disorders and that is not coping, its something else entirely.

Having truly empathic people admire your resilience to all that has happened, to still be alive after it all... it's comforting. But also heartbreaking because that's your life; battling just to stay alive at times. Not living.

I've been in this situation too. Unfortunately even with harassment policies in place, I still found it to be a no-win situation; just trying to ride out the disrepect and being constantly undermined, or reporting it and yes... everything Rainagain has said being the result.

Either way you cannot work to your best ability, and it is so mentally and emotionally draining fighting for yourself. Unfortunately (or fortunately once you're there), starting afresh in a new job seems to work well.

For me i'm much happier and am now thriving instead of flailing. That's just my view in hindsight, and I hope your friend triumps whatever they decide to do xo

Not too abstract at all Lee. Makes perfect sense.
I'm still working out my new life direction so on the journey with you

I have missed every spam event, but very sorry this is happening. Thank you for looking out for keeping us all safe Kizzie.

setting us loose into the world without the knowledge or skills to manage it or ourselves i see as a big betrayal.  this may not be the same as you're thinking about, blueberry, but i believe it's a betrayal nonetheless. 

No, that wasn't quite what I was thinking, though you're right it is betrayal too. Also a form of neglect.

What enF did and I see as betrayal was: appear to support me emotionally and then go behind my back and either support somebody else instead like B1 or else make fun of me with this person. Or maybe both.
That's enough on this topic for today.

Another for a familiar FOO.

It's been a lot of hard work, trial and error, spending hard earned money, figuring out all of this life stuff out when simple guidance from family would have made navigating life that much smoother.

And then the talking behind you back... yes not going to get started.

Very difficult reaching adulthood not knowing who you truly are, and not knowing the first thing about how to find out.

I hope the above makes sense.

Apologies, I was trying for a short response but it got longer again.

Blues cruise, being mocked and ridiculed seems to be something that ignorant, self centred people to. And there's a lot of them aren't there, kicking you when you're already down one of the worst things.

I'd like to address the nightmare, as this is familiar to me too. I believe - and it was agreed to by a friend who is a trauma counsellor - that this is part of our positive recovery. Now that sounds crazy right?

The pattern is familiar. I start to feel settled... good... then even start to thrive... then BANG! My feet are taken out from under me and I'm out for the count. Crying, foetal position, anger and fear...

After confirming this with my friend I felt much better at the time one of these cycles was happening. We're healing, gaining strength, and get to that point where we question that we even suffered abuse at all. So... our subconsious says "Right! You're strong enough now, time to process this trauma!." Then I go to my psychologist to discuss it, and come to a sense of peace.

I know it sounds bad, but to me it's a masochistic step in a positive direction. I've noticed that these things are happening less and less, and with more time inbetween.

If this sounds similar to your experience of the triggers, I hope it helps in the long run. The people in our lives that don't give us a break... well they can continue on with their ignorant narrow minded lives while we work towards being stronger than they can ever be. Not that we aren't already.

Glad to hear you're coming out the other side boats
Keep doing what you're doing xox

Good luck!
Lately i've been finding temperature changes very grounding. It was winter here so a hot bath was wonderful. I've found a sauna followed by cold shower so exhilerating (if I can do it of course).
But the rubber band is great when you're out and about in society.
Hope you're finding success so far xo

I'm guilty sorry, and agree with the policy.

Similar to Woodsgnome. Sometimes it flows out and becomes a bigger post than intended.

Usually reading/writing these on my phone and don't realise how long it gets. Should be a journal I realise.

Boats, I am so very sorry that you are feeling this way. I can relate to the intensity and longevity of these feelings, as I was where you are only a couple of weeks ago.

Still looking for coping mechanisms for this as well. Deep Blue's ideas - rubber band, ice cube - seem like good examples of shocking (for want of a better word) your body and mind out of it. Coupled with gentle self care strategies afterwards I've been thinking might be a good way to go.

Have yet to try anything, and am not particularly looking forward to either. But at present, I'm with you figuring it out too.

Yes Slim,
My fault.
Echoing Blueberry. How are you holding up?

Good point Blueberry. That is already a fact, well said.

At those particular times when the grip of rage loosens it's hold on us, all the easier for us to share our compassion. I personally have a difficult time paying it forward when anger has consumed me.

Success is measured in many different ways. That is one aspect that we already excel in; the safety and respect on this forum is a case in point. Yet unlike our FOO's, we can build upon that success.

We just need that anger to subside. Because when it does, boy do we have the potential to promote good that is powerful, and genuinely altruistic. We can pay it forward big time.

And that's me off my soap box...
Of course, those are my current thoughts san-anger. When i'm angry, it's a completely different story.