Hi everyone,
I've been thinking lately about regrets. Things I have done that I wish I had not done, or handled differently.
In the past, I would avoid taking responsibility for my actions out of fear of reprisal. In the last decade, I became beaten down by compound traumas, heavily internalized all criticism, and my inner critic - combined with low self-esteem - convinced me that everything was my fault. So then I swung to the other extreme and took too much responsibility.
While not feeling consistently stable yet, I am at a place where I am working to accept all of my actions as things I really did, things I chose either through action or inaction, and things with consequences. I want to practice self-compassion and acceptance rather than avoidance or denial, particularly in my interactions with other people, and in reclaiming my memories.
Aside from the 50-50 rule, are there any techniques any of you have used to own the reality of your actions without falling into a pit of toxic shame?
In particular I think this will help with my inner critic, but also when confronted with guilt trips, blame-shifting, and other manipulation tactics. Whether they are external or self-imposed.
I just want to see myself realistically, if that makes sense.
Thanks.
I've been thinking lately about regrets. Things I have done that I wish I had not done, or handled differently.
In the past, I would avoid taking responsibility for my actions out of fear of reprisal. In the last decade, I became beaten down by compound traumas, heavily internalized all criticism, and my inner critic - combined with low self-esteem - convinced me that everything was my fault. So then I swung to the other extreme and took too much responsibility.
While not feeling consistently stable yet, I am at a place where I am working to accept all of my actions as things I really did, things I chose either through action or inaction, and things with consequences. I want to practice self-compassion and acceptance rather than avoidance or denial, particularly in my interactions with other people, and in reclaiming my memories.
Aside from the 50-50 rule, are there any techniques any of you have used to own the reality of your actions without falling into a pit of toxic shame?
In particular I think this will help with my inner critic, but also when confronted with guilt trips, blame-shifting, and other manipulation tactics. Whether they are external or self-imposed.
I just want to see myself realistically, if that makes sense.
Thanks.