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Messages - C.

#331
As I thought might happen when I joined this community,  I identify very strongly with your story...so many similarities I need not describe here.  Not knowing the future and learning to be present in the moment takes time and practice.  I applaud your sincerity and persistence.  As for the news about your husband, it sounds like ADHD may explains a lot and adds new information that will take time to process.  People also may have ADHD and narcissistic behaviors.  In life I've found that if I'm not sure of a decision it's best accept that I need to give the situation time & patience...as difficult as this may be.  I see that you have begun so many processes to heal including therapy, this forum, reading, etc.  And you are doing so while your children are young.  Many of us here would've experienced different lives had our own parents taken those steps.  That is a gift you are giving to yourself and your children, whatever the outcome. 
#332
:wave: Hello Supportive Community Members,

I recently joined here and I'm very heartened and encouraged to see this opportunity for on-line support.  What a wonderful resource.  I'll provide a short summary here, although I look forward to sharing more about my story and hearing about other's over time.  For me story helps with the healing.  Knowing others experiences validates.  Receiving and providing support in "community", well I think that is what healthy relational life needs to be, whether it's lite like laughter or intense like the sharing of tears.  Suffice to say my life story is like so many here.  I experienced emotional neglect 24/7 throughout my childhood/adolescence, then again during most of the 22 years that was my marriage.  I am relatively new to the deeper level of healing that I began in 2012 and alone.  Thankfully I now have a "good enough" therapist.  I am persistent, tenacious, efficient, creative, kind, compassionate, and resilient.  I read/write/speak English and Spanish.  I've been accepted into and lived within Mexican/Chilean/Latin-American cultures most of my life.  It is probably where I feel the most comfortable and at home socially.  I prefer communicating in Spanish although it isn't my first language.  Unusual, I know!  I feel a bit sensitive and vulnerable on the culture/language topic ;)

I discovered the term "complex" ptsd a long time ago, but found little about the term, i just knew that ptsd didn't fit but neither did the descriptions of depression, generalized anxiety, borderline, etc.  Then a few months ago I started reading Pete Walker's book and everything "fit."  100%.  My life experience, my current reality, my healing, my hopes.  Soon after that I discovered this online community, registered and now I have been reading and letting the ideas percolate before writing.  I noticed that simply posting here is causing me to feel a bit anxious... 

I look forward to providing and receiving support and learning more through this journey of healing with it's victories and it's challenges, and as is so poignantly stated, "coming out of the storm" THRIVING!!!